The Wait Continues - For a Reason?

This past weekend was a good one again. I only had two volunteers, Shana D. and on V. Even though we were a force of only three, we got quite a bit accomplished. I picked out some new door handles for the first floor - so they will all be functional now which I'm looking forward to. Then picked up more paint readying for the crew.

Ron started on the ceiling in the dining room and Shana set to work on the entryway ceiling. We got through the ceilings and even moved onto the first coat (of the third color choice) of new color for the entryway walls that will start in the back entry and continue up to the second floor landing. The new color really works much better than the previous two with the wood work and pulls more yellow out of the wood than mostly the red that is usually pulled out by the paint color selections.

Meanwhile, I was working in the 2nd story hall bathroom, installing the plumbing. I ran out of material twice and will hopefully finish Monday evening. I then will need to lay the 3/4" subfloor and then it's back into Meredith's court to take it from there. I hope it won't take more than 3-4 hours, but as everything else has proven, I'm sure it will take longer. No problem, I'll just keep pushing.

That brings up what I really wanted to discuss, the timelime, the lack thereof and maybe some iseda on possible reasons for that. I talk with my pastor every Friday morning and proceed to get amped up on medium Skim Mochas for the day and discuss what's new that week. That weekly time together has proven to be truly critical for me in my healing. Often times he is able to position things in my mind that I cannot seem to conclude on my own. Folks often ask me all of this will be completed and I often tell them that I have 'this day' as deadline or 'that day' as a deadline, but in the end really have no solid clue. There are days that I'd LIKE to set as a completion date, but too much is out of my hands for me to be able to say those things.


Which leads me to a discussion I had with my pastor a few weeks ago that I have been kicking around in my head a bit. Maybe the Lord is using this project in a way that is beyond the 'no crap moron' response that is running through your head right now. Looking at the entire project, this is taking WAY longer than I ever thought. Even with all of the help, volunteers, donations, advice, etc. this seems to be stalling a bit since the first of the year. That got me thinking, maybe the Lord wants me to slow down.

I have spent so many of my years running at full tilt chasing this and that. Ask any of my good friends and they'll tell you that at any time in my life, it has always been 'a challenge' to get a hold of me, let alone plan something. My natural response I think would have been to push through whatever grieving I may have thought appropriate at the time and then get back to chasing all of the other trappings of life. I think the Lord has reasons that: 1. that Leslie and I found this house only 3 weeks before her crash 2. that Matt Strelecki wrote that wonderful email and SO many people at Meredith got behind this project, including so many friends and family and people in church and in circles that I wasn't even a part of 3. that when I was nearing completion of the demo and rebuild stages that someone from Meredith stepped in to take on so much of the decorating and final touches 4. that there are now more challenges facing the final touches and I'm being tested in new ways of how to finish this while continuing to not step on toes, be appreciative and still get what fits my house and our dream.

Yes those are 4 large areas and I don't plan on hitting all of those here, but I think they all have a common thread. While I have said many time other people have been touched or changed by this, I most certainly have as well. I can feel the Lord putting His hand on my shoulder that keeps me seated on the chair as He gives me a lesson as a Dad would to a busybody son. Softly and calmly I can hear Him say things every now and again. they are not profound nor overly complex. Sometimes it's a simple 'be still John' or 'just wait John' or 'find the priority John and follow only that'. Many times these moment happen when I'm frustrated the most, when I can no longer take the stress. In all instances I hear him saying, "simplify". It's one of those moments in life where the less said means the most. I know what he mans by 'Choose the path of your heart'. I think we all know what means - differently to everyone- but deep in our hearts we cannot lie to ourselves and we cannot lie to the Lord. We know ourselves and He know us even more intimately than that. Follow your heart to me says that He has taught me things throughout my short life, take those things and follow his word. He uses everyday life events to give us illustrations of how His word is true. It's our job to take those illustrations and share them with others. That's how he connects with every generation and every people - life experiences.

My house project definitely qualifies as a life experience. What then are some of my illustrations to share? Love with all of your heart - all of the time. Don't apologize for loving someone too much because you can't. Family is the closest thing we have on earth to God's kingdom. "Family" can be defined in a lot of ways, but in all ways the family is love without limitation or judgment, support without hesitation and community without exception. It's also where we recieve a small glimpse of how special we are to him when we have children of our own. What an amazing thing we must be to him because I realize how amazing my little girl is to me. There are so many 'illustrations' that I have seen - some I'd like to keep to myself... and will share when appropriate.

While I most assuredly would like this to end TODAY and many around me would like it to end soon, I think the Lord is doing many things with this project for his kingdom, not just my life, that for now I just 'be still and wait'. I know he is here and he is not done yet.