Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The First Is Always The Hardest

How much background do you give? What do people want to know? Tough questions to answer when developing in a vacuum. I guess the best start is one that starts with the most recent and most important facts that inspired me to create this blog.

On November 13, 2006 I was awakened by the knock on my door by a friend who had come over to give the most horrible news that no friend ever hopes to give. My wife of four years and the absolute love of my life had been killed in a small private airplane crash while returning from a one-day business trip. In that moment, my life forever changed in a way that I never thought possible.

One such way was the purchase, renovation and future of a historic house that we had just agreed to only days before. It's a large house that is the American Dream. It's big enough to grow into, it has a huge yard, it's on a quiet street, it's near great schools, it's near extended family and good friends, all of that and it was a fixer-upper - something that we specialize in. We had spent numerous trips to the house and discussed dreams of how we were going to change this or install that or make this room great by having this color or that. We had truly made the house ours in our hearts. So when I got the news that night, I struggled whether to move forward with the purchase of the home that was to house so many of our shared dreams. It just couldn't be the same, I thought, not after losing the one person that helped make those dreams come alive for me.













I wrestled with the decision for weeks, and thankfully, the sellers were kind enough to give me the space and time needed to make the right decision without any pressure or guarantees. I proceeded to put my wife to final rest, tried to put some schedule in place that made sense for me and my little girl of 19 months, and tried to keep in focus the distant future of what is right for me and my little girl, Ellie. I kept asking myself, all of those nights that my wife and I had stayed awake talking things through, was I supposed to make those things come true? Would Leslie want me to continue with our dreams even though she wouldn't be able to help me? Would I want her to continue on if the roles were reversed? The answer seemed more clear when I asked myself those questions because they all were easily answered with "yes". So, moving beyond all the doubts and fears of going it alone, managing limited budgets, even more limited time and the largest concern, not being able to share the moments with My Love - I knew I needed to buy the house. i called the buyers the next day and told them that I was moving forward with the purchase.

The day of closing was January 2nd, three weeks away. It was going to arrive sooner than I thought so I had better get back in the saddle and start working on getting bids from contractors, talk to banks for loans and start planning for the demolition that was needed. The holidays of Christmas and New Years came and went and it was now time to close. As life would have it, I ended up closing on the house on January 6th due to last minute inspections being needed and the holidays putting everyone into backlog that gave me a few extra days to get things into order. That's all fine and well, but I was set to start my first day of work on the 6th of January at 10:00 a.m.

A few weeks prior, unbeknownst to me while I was a way from work for Leslie's death, a fellow co-worker had sent out an e-mail to our group asking everyone that if I moved forward with the purchase of this house if they would be willing to pitch in and help with the renovations needed. When I was told about this I was completely floored. Here I had only worked in this group for just over a year and they were volunteering left and right, without any hesitation at all. Truly amazing, the Lord is truly amazing. When I least expect Him to bless me, He blesses me the greatest. In a short amount of time, we had over 40 people who had come forward to help. That number continued to grow as other heard about the need and emails going out. It continues to grow even today. I am humbled by everyone's generosity.

The Saturday of January 5th I had 13 people arriving at the new house ready to put down cardboard to cover the hardwood floors in the house and I hadn't even signed the papers of ownership yet. Needless to say I was starting to sweat it. Thankfully the banker was well prepared and was at the door at 9:45 a.m. and had me sign the papers that put me on the path to beginning a new chapter in my life.

The First Day of Work
Manhandling cardboard / Be careful with the seams

Russ WATCHING instead of working / Todd on the 2nd Floor

Don manages up the stairs / Ben watches - Jane works

Dan, lunch is at noon / Teamwork at its best

Watch the knife Brit / Fish, we only have 34 rolls of tape

The HEAP of board / Caryn & Brit enjoy lunch

Kevin takes it in / The crew on the 1st floor

1 comment:

ab said...

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I'm sure your loss is still at the front of your mind in many ways. Somehow, someway, I hope for a silver lining in this for you. You're blessed with some great folks around you. Best to you as life goes on.