5 Hours A Night

Rest vs Work

2011-01-09T17:45:00.009-06:00

A Day Enjoyed with My Girls

Saturday was a great day that had mixed emotions that allowed it all to end in a good, confident way. Let's start with the fun and then I'll give you a warning when it's gonna get heavy (read long) if you wanna bail at that point to just stay for the easy stuff.

I was able to go ice skating with my girls, Shana and her youngest boy Sam. Although it was cold (17 degrees) there wasn't much of a wind, which is what makes Iowa REALLY cold. We rolled up all excited and noticed the Zamboni was just finishing so we looked forward to fresh ice. Walking into the little hut the kids were a' yappin'. All stoked to be going for the first time, while the adults were a bit more cautious as we remembered what it feels like to continually bounce of an ice rink. Regardless, with skates paid for and all jackets zipped up tight we headed out to brave the decent crowd in the rink and armed with a camera in one hand and Olivia in the other I was ready to catch hilarity on digital film. Thankfully the first five bounces off the ice didn't deter either Sam or Ellie and we were in business. Believe it or not, the little ones lasted a full hour and were wanting more as we pulled them into the car due to the cries of Olivia being cold and tired of only being able to watch the others have fun. Hot pizza from Papa Murphy's and Hot Cocoa made for a perfect finish. What a great way to spend a glorious Saturday and take in a little of God's gifts.

Deep Crap Coming Alert - time to bail if you're short on time as this is where it could get lengthy. Saturday and Sunday both have proven to contain pieces that have been both challenging and reassuring to me. The first part is that many of you know I had bought a vending business in the Fall of '09. This business has been an enormous challenge for me over the past year financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. While I have spent a lot of my life working hard, tirelessly staying on task, expanding my skill sets on the fly to meet any demand, but the continual running into a wall when needing blessings by God and being met with less than desired results, this has challenged my will, my usually upbeat attitude, and in general my idea of how I relate to my God.

Before the ice skating I met with some folks I respect a ton. This past Thursday I received some news that drastically will affect my business, and in turn my home and life. The news is bad and until I have a concrete plan I'll leave it at that. I met with my friends to discuss exactly how the numbers could fall in the budget and what some possible options are. Coming away from that meeting I am facing some things that I hate to contemplate being reality, but life recently has taught me to accept it and move forward as soon as possible. That's all well and good but we surprising finished with going a bit 'deeper' into that thing called faith that has gotten me this far and how I over the past year continually tried to lean on my faith but continually seemed to come up short in my business and even in life to some extent. The statement was made that maybe I wasn't being fully blessed by God due to maybe not all aspects of my life weren't as God would like. A tough thing to hear for sure but really not something unexpected nor something I hadn't thought many times myself in recent weeks. All the praying, time talking to God, the time trying to be quiet and listen to God or looking for his presence in my everyday life just wasn't proving to make any difference. I felt like I was just pushing through a gale force winds only to find deeper and bigger waves ahead of me.

Today at church the sermon was about work and rest. Deeper than the rest we take every night or simply the work we do as jobs or what we do to help others, rather the work BENEATH the work and and rest of the soul. Many times over the past few years folks have asked me how I have managed to push forward when others say they may have not or at least as well, I'm not so sure I've done it well all the time, but I have done it as best I could. I remember even before losing Leslie and then going through the hardest years of my life that have followed, that I once pushed through life with the same determination and vigor that I believe I did immediately after her death - when my dad died, one of my best friends in high school, my grandfather and the list goes on of the lows that have surrounded me but I always managed to climb to new highs. I was never abe to put into words how or why I was able to continue on with a good attitude and seemingly not really ever get tangled up in the past for more than a short period of time, rather continue to focus on the goals and dreams I set before me. Faith was something that I continued to explore and talk with others and I look back and see very distinct people that have made huge impressions on my life and faith, but that's not what this is about. This is about work and rest. Two things that I have lost sight of over the past 2-3 years I think.

You see, work that has underlying purpose or direction is often called inspired. What the preacher this morning was saying that no mater your job albeit taking out the trash or saving someone's life, it's all capable of being inspired and the work of God if you first believe that God made it for you and chose you specifically to do it. Every moment you are doing, every day you are working and everyday He is choosing you. For me I was always working to accomplish my own goals and then Leslie came along and showed me how and where God should fit. One of the many reasons her loss was so great to me.

Back to the sermon, if work has the undercurrent of His work, than rest has an undercurrent of his grace and peace. As pastor put it, sleep has the REM sleep which we're all aware of the our bodies physically need. What then of our souls, the rest for it should get recharged when we are at our end and seemingly are tested to our extreme. My heart and soul has been there for some time. The rest of the soul is also given and received only through Christ and knowing that He paid for our eternal rest and peace. When knowing this there comes a kind of calm and satisfaction with our life that no matter what we are asked to endure, our efforts and purposes will ultimately be put to the best use. Knowing this makes rest even more calming. The ironic part about of all of this is that when you have true rest, it's easier to have inspired work.

All of this to say that in the past 14 months I have taken on the largest challenge in buying a business only to have it take the hours of my day, the strength of my will and the smile from my face in efforts to make it right and grow. I can't think of anything that I would do differently as the school of hard knocks was in session every month and I could not have learned any other way. I appreciate and thank all of those who have helped me to this point and I lean on many of the same people in the near future to continue to support and teach me. I can say that I have regained my larger perspective that although I may have lost sight at times of true work and rest in the past 18 months, I once again see the Lord as I should and hope to make my life as He would like. Not because I hope for his blessings, rather because I know my life is not as it should be nor is my work inspired or my rest truly calm. I know that the days immediately ahead of me will not be easy nor without stress, but I will persevere and be blessed because I trust and serve him first.

Come unto me, all that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Mathew 11:28

Welcome Back Y'all

2010-11-15T20:19:00.009-06:00

A great family, no?

It’s been a while and I’ll get to some of the reasons why in future posts but today I’d like to focus on moving forward and laying the groundwork of where this blog will be headed.

One of my largest struggles with this, besides not having ANY time to write, was I know as the house finished folks didn’t want to know small details of things I’m doing so what is it that readers want to know. I think I’ve heard the status of how John is doing, and Ellie, and now Olivia too. But I struggled with to what degree of detail should I share, you all don’t want ALL the details but maybe the highlights. To be sure this isn’t a personal journal, rather maybe a letter like the folks of generations past would write each other from one family to another or letters home from the battlefields. With Veterans Day just past, I take inspiration from the many men woman who have served who so completely relied upon the connection to their families to keep them going. Not that I’m at war – by no means – but I most certainly have come to rely upon the connection to family, friends and God to get me to where I am as well as being able to remain focused on the good of tomorrow.

From that intro I’ll give you a few highlights of the past year to 18 months. Shortly after the grand opening last summer I was still unemployed and came across a business that I was interested in buying from the 70 year old owner who was looking to get out of the business and enjoy some of the spoils of his many years of hard work. Chavas Vending was a small family business that I saw had a ton of potential but needed an equal part of hard work (and money) to fix certain things, bring out existing good things and make needed changes to bring it up to today’s business standards. This vending company was challenge that I officially jumped in with both feet October 31st, 2009. Being two weeks shy of a full year without employment made me extremely ambitious and hopeful of the things to come.

On another note, Ellie is now going to Kindergarten at Des Moines Christian School in Urbandale, Ia and absolutely loving it. Every week she amazes me with the facts and ideas that she is now forming and able to recite. Little things like constantly working on writing letters and numbers, reciting bible verses in a way that makes me challenge my own knowledge and already see that she is going to be MUCH more intelligent than I ever could be. She continues to be the sunshine of my day and one of the two reasons I exist.

The other reason is Olivia Addison O’Bannon. What a wonderful blessing that Lord has given this family in Olivia. To be completely honest I began (and sometimes still do) to wonder if this is it for me with having children. I wondered that the dream that Leslie and I had to fill this house with the pitter-patter of small feet might be those only of Ellie and no others. I hoped that Ellie would know brothers and sisters and had no idea how He would provide and as usual He has provided a wonderful additional set of pitter-patter sounds in Olivia. She is now almost the age that Ellie was when Leslie was killed and I often try to think back to how we raised Ellie together and think of how different Shana and I are doing because of our circumstances and hope that I’m doing all that I can to create a loving and rich environment for Olivia as I had a hand in creating for Ellie. Olivia is already a completely different child than Ellie in most ways. She is headstrong like Ellie but has no fear in venturing out to discover her world around her. She often challenges authority but does respond when authority is applied. She has an infectious smile like her big sister and has a great sense of bond to her family that is much different than what Ellie knew growing up. It warms my heart that such a larger immediate family surrounds Olivia and I hope that gets to know and share a similar bond with her extended family like Ellie has been fortunate to develop. I know raising Olivia will be completely different than Ellie, and she is a different person than Ellie, I just hope and pray everyday that I can give all of me and create a model for both to follow that shows my love for God, family and each other that is at the root of both girls’ persons from which they both stand upon.

Well I think that’s a good start for today and hopefully sets the stage and whets your curiosity of posts to come. I have more to share, much of which is full of struggle as I continue to struggle mightily in many areas and I ask for your continued support in prayers and thoughts. Hopefully future posts will be shared parts challenge and victory and hopefully you come back to share in those highs and lows with me. Thank you following and supporting, I pray that you and yours are all doing well and chasing the priorities that make the most difference in the greatest life you can have.

The Grand Opening

2009-06-15T21:06:00.037-06:00

A sweet thank you

It finally happened. If you hadn't heard or gotten an invite (or two) I finally set a date and followed through on having the grand opening party at the house to signify the end of this major project. Sure there are a few minor things left hanging out there, but whose house doesn't have those kind of issues? Mine for al intents and purposes is done in regards to asking throngs of people for help. I chose June 6th, 2009 for the final date making it two and a half years and one day from beginning to end. What an amazing ride it's been.

Two days before things were looking a bit hopeless. I think it was another example of me biting off WAY more than I could chew and another example of the people around me saving my bacon. I had spent two weeks busting tail trying to get things prepped and completed from having a garage sale and laying mulch in the back flower beds to starting to go through the MOUNTAINS of boxes in the third floor and hanging some pictures. I have to admit though that despite all my efforts to push and push and push, I was near the end of my rope and really needed help this time. I sent out an email and I was once again humbled by the response of help by friends and family. I had a onslaught of help from Elisha, Ryan, Shana, Dan J, his daughter, Lola K, Neil O, Randa D, Mary, Dan, my Brother Sean, Mom, Russ, Caryn, Case, Helen, Ron, Kirby, Kirby's friend Michael, Mark S, Uncle Al and I'm sure one or two more that I'm forgetting this late at night. I wish I had captured them all in pictures, but alas I didn't know where my camera was in the whole confusion. The night before the big party the crew and I were up past midnight putting on a final coat of paint in the third floor and cleaning like fiends. It was as much a dash for the finish line as I've ever known. I heard a few times from a few that were at the house less than 48 hours before the open and then at the open that the house was a completely different house for the Open and I completely agree. One of the coolest improvements and one that was nagging at my 'metal list' for some time was the completion of the wet bar and the basement bathroom plumbing. The first is now ready for service and the latter has already been tested with great success. Uncle Al was determined to get the sink in the bar hooked up come hell or high water and wouldn't you know that as the first guests were arriving Al cried out victoiuosly and with great pride put out the 'It's 5 O' Clock Somewhere' sign and we were truly ready for a party. I would have never have been anywhere close without the help of these folks and many, many others as well as all of the prayers that I know were being sent up.
Randa splits hostas/Lola sifts out rocks & weeds

Randa, Mary, Shana & Lola work hard for their ibuprofen

Shana waters the new plants/Completed new beds

Lola preps a bit more/Ed & Joyce let the light in!

Ed & Joyce cleaned ALL the windows/Ryan starts the 3rd floor bedroom paint

Sean takes on plumbing/Lola cuts the 3rd floor play room

Lola cuts in more/I lend a hand in painting

Dan J and his daughter help out LATE Friday

Believe it or not - the mess 24 hrs to go...

Even with all of this great help and support, I once again received an amazing gift on the last day that I still shake my head in disbelief of the generosity of the peole that surround me and the grace of the Lord. While I was to be out the afternoon of Friday, I happen to be around as some guys pulled up to the yard to install some sod. Huh - I hadn't ordered any sod and probably wasn't going until the following week. Turns out that My frined Mike M who (along with his two brothers Andrew and Nathan had helped install the sprinker system) had ordered - and paid for - the sod to be installed on the north side of the house where the dumpsters had made their mark for nearly 18 months! I was nearly brought to tears - seriously in a manly way of course - because it's one of those little details that to me makes a huge difference and really would make the open house a finished product. I still can't believe the surprise and generosity - thank you Mike.
The surprise crew starts up/Both sides of the driveway and front bed

That's A LOT of sod/Mike @ Andrew fix a few things

Making things smooth/Almost done with the fix

Back and forth/and then do it again to be sure

Completed beds look better with sod!

Oh did I mention the mulch in the last 72 hrs? - 30 cu/yd!

On to the main event - Open House 2009

The day started out a bit soggy and I was worried. THe Lord was in charge as always and had it completely under control. I had enough food, tables, chairs and gifts for nearly 300 people. It was a time where I really hoped folks would come back to see what the fruits of their labor helped to create, not at all for myself, but because I wanted to show them that I put to good use their time, efforts and gifts. It's not often that you get to see the finished product when you volunteer for a project and when it is possible it seems to wrap things up. I know a lot of people had taken great joy and pride in making my house so fabulous and I wanted to share that with them.

I could really go on forever saying how grateful I am for everyone's generosity and I'm trying to fight the urge to do so to keep everyone from boredom of reading the same thing over and over again. In my effort to try and reveal new information or ways that I see the Lord working in my life (or the world around me) I'd like to tell of a short story I heard over the past couple of days. My disclaimer is the usual that I in no way claim responsibility or credit, I am only a part of the picture and enjoy witnessing how wonderful it is to see the Lord work in everyday life. I recently heard that one of the young people that have worked at my house and in this case this person worked A TON at my house, decided that of all the fields of study to choose from in today's collegiate system, he'd like to look into architecture. While that's not amazing, what strikes me is that he chose to do so in part because of what he learned and experienced here at the O'Bannon Project. Working along side myself, others and his father, Kirby has found a new path in working with structures and building things that are both useful and works of art. I think that fits his personality and talents as there are many of both here at my home and many are due to his contributions. I have talked a little before in the blog about Kirby and his dad, and specifically the relationship between them that has grown over the past two years. In many ways their time together reminds me of the relationship I had grown with my father in college just before he died four months after my graduation. I was so fortunate to come to see my father as a friend and as a man that was my 'equal'. My dad and I had spent much of my teenage years bucking horns and I'm sure many around us thought that the day we came to respect each other as equals would have been decades in the future if ever at all. Yes, you might say I got his hard-headedness in spades and a lot of that was directed at him for many years. By the Lord's knowing and loving hand though, we moved through that and were able to come together as friends and I believe I loved my father far more when he died than I ever could have imagined because we had made that transition into knowing each other more deeply than just rule-setter/enforcer and rule-breaker/young buck. Not that I'm saying Kirby is me at that age, but I see that those two men are seeing each other more as equals in manhood and respect is a two-way street that often comes from God working on people's hearts, egos and tempers - at least that's what it took for my father and I. I guess in a very long and drawn out way, I guess I'm saying that God has allowed me to see another father-son relationship grow and because I know how much it meant to me to lose mine, it means that much more to see others gain it for themselves. God gives those kind of blessings and it buoys me more times than I think I allow others to know. Okay huge diversion from the point so I'll get back to it after these pictures.
Eating good food/then playing

Ellie with Big Uncle Jonny/Little ones eat too

Signing the book/Chatting it up and telling stories

Mom chats it up/The small group talks about what they worked on

friends, friends... and more friends

..and more friends...

..and more friends...

..and more friends...

..and more friends...

..and more friends...

..and more friends...

..and more friends. Seriously, I AM blessed.

It feels so good to be 'finished'. I was asked if there were any other things left on the list and I think there are really only two must-do items and one nice-to-have item. The have-to-do is residing the kitchen bump out - formerly known as the eat-in nook as there is a 3" gap between the existing siding and foundation not to mention holes where the windows used to be and the doors are now and the other is a new roof. Both are not horribly difficult as I've done more roofs than I care to count and the siding I've never done, but I'm sure is similar to a roof, just vertical. Yeah, I know a oversimplification I'm sure, but really not. If anyone out there knows how or better yet wants to show me how to install the siding - maybe a shake siding I'd love to talk with you. The nice-to-have is to extend the garage in the back where the concrete slab already exists and I'd just need to create the walls and roof for a 'shed' for the mower and such as I can only park one vehicle in the garage right now and am constantly tripping over things when I'm trying to find whatever it is I need at the moment. So not critical, but definitely a high nice-to-have that has a lot of function! I'm thinking to take a week or so before I dive into the next item of wiring the garage from the box, but I'm itching already to get that finished up.

Although I sent out a couple hundred invites and had only 150 or so people, I know many more helped and I would really like to extend my most heartfelt thank you to them. For many years I will be asked about this project and I will be thanking folks well into Ellie's middle school years and that still won't cover it all. If I run into you in the mall or at church or at the supermarket, I would really like to give you one of the measuring tapes or hammers that I had engraved to say thank you. I can vouch that you can never have too many good hammers or tape measures around the house. As I experienced (and even commented about in this blog a few times;-) throughout this project I would misplace or at least not be able to locate for a while my tape measures and hammers and having 'just one more' would've never been a bad idea. Plus, they're just really cool tools that all the losers want and the cool people have. So please stop me and ask me about them as I will have a box of them in my car for quite a while so that as I track you down I have one on the ready for you.

Happy Birthday Leslie - The Big 3-0

2009-06-01T23:22:00.005-06:00

Her favorite - angel food cake with fresh strawberries.

Today was a really tough day, it was supposed to be a day of surprise, joy and lots of calories. Alas, it was just another day pushing forward to a deadline, one that really can't come fast enough. It's here in (now) five days and I'm so freaking far from being ready it makes my head hurt.

I started the day rolling out of bed and trying to get Ellie to school so that I could take the car to the dealership to repair the front bumper and misc pieces after a deer decided to hop in front of me shortly after having it's breakfast a week ago. Chunks of chewed grass and spit hit the windshield and the ever-aware Ellie asked from the back seat 'Is that the deer's blood daddy?" "No, Ellie, it's most likely parts of its breakfast. We didn't kill the deer Ellie, we just hurt it really bad," I said. Then the obvious next question came out,"Is is going to be okay Daddy?" and so went the conversation for the next 10 minutes as we rolled in to see the doctor at the Saturday clinic to treat Ellie's UTI that hadn't been fixed for almost 2 weeks - and for those ladies out there it had been a ROUGH two weeks at the O'Bannon household. Anyway, back to the present, I wanted to get there first thing so I could get on to the LONG list, but alas getting a four-year-old out the door i the morning is like moving a wet noodle in the boiling water - tricky at best. I arrive at 8:30 and drop it off without too much trouble and it's raining. NO umbrella - sweet. So set the tone for the day.

Five years ago Leslie surprised me in December with most of my friends being at my house and catching me off guard with a surprise birthday party. She was pregnant with Ellie at the time and the weather was horrible as we'd just had a recent snowfall. I had gotten up that day and done the usual early morning snow shoveling - lots of ice melt on the 50-degree-incline-driveway and set out for the day. It was near Christmas so the luminaries were out and all was festive, and I of course had no clue what the day had in store for me five years ago. It wasn't so much memorable until the party. I came home from someplace that made me sweaty or dirty or both - I can't remember which, but I do remember being completely surprised and feeling WAY underdressed for the occasion and then running upstairs to change for the guests. She got me good that day and I immediately thought to myself I looked forward to the day that I would get to return the favor of a surprise party. Of course I had plan of going big and bold as usual, but I hadn't really thought it all out, but just knew I was going to really enjoy seeing the look on her face and feeling great that I had gotten her back.

That was supposed to be today, or at least a day around today. Maybe a day early or a day late, but it would have been planed for near the 1st of June, 2009 - thirty years after the Lord had placed her hear with all of us. Unfortunately that day never happened the way we all thought it would. That day - today - didn't play out anything like I thought it would.

It was a day where Ellie started a new 'class' at her daycare - the transition to the Mozarts from the Bachs Room (from the 3 yr olds to the 4s) and I cried as I left. Sucks seeing Ellie grow up right in front of me and I feel alone in cherishing these moments. I'm choosing what pictures go up on the walls and which ones stay packed away and it doesn't feel right to make the decisions alone. I'm crossing that bridge I dreaded so long ago about what things stay in the house and what goes. Fucking sucks. Sorry to finally make this blog 'R' rated but the wound is open and I don't know how to close the damn thing. I feel torn in eight different directions, trying to cover all the bases, working my ass off to do all the things needed to keep the boat floating and really feeling like it's either a lost cause, not worth fighting for or just too damn tired to care anymore.

The Lord has sustained me throughout this whole mess and I pray that he continues to do so because I'm sure it's not by my power that I'll make it. This past weekend was 'Celebration Sunday' at my church and it was all about praising God for the many blessings our church has done, has received and has given - all in the name of God. It was inspirational, it was uplifting, it made me want to jump out of my seat and give a tearful testament to God for all of the things he has given me in the last 2 and half years since my life was blown apart. That day seems so far away, yet it's only 36 hours past. Life is definitely a ride of hills and valleys and I know that the Lord is my driver and I try to be the best co-pilot I can, but I'm tellg you what, sometimes it would be great to be able to climb on to the back and just put my head out the window and watch it all go by while I feel the wind in my hair and smell the flowers in my nose. But that's not possible and the map needs to be read and the course plotted for tomorrow, for the next transition, for the next birthday.

Happy Birthday Leslie, the big three oh.

Nicaragua Easter Birthday

2009-04-18T13:28:00.026-06:00

What a wonderful gift

A day at el Canyon was a great way to end the traveling portion of our trip, now on to a slower pace to finish out. We awake to another bright, wonderful day and a relatively 'slow' schedule. All that we have to achieve is to go to the market to get a pinata, a couple of gifts for Ellie and the host family and hang a little with Jahzell (pronounced Ha Sell). We roll out of bed and into the luke warm shower, change band-aids and get dressed in another super cute, brand new outfit and we're off.

Jahzell isn't quite ready so we go to the bank, car wash and then pick her up so we can go to the market. It turns out that waiting for Jahzell was well worth it as everyone in the market is more Nicaraguan-friendly than US friendly when it comes to quoting prices and bartering. We knockout getting the prized Tinkerbelle pinata, party hats and a few more toys in a few minutes. We return to buy soccer jerseys for all the kids at the house (9 total) as a thank you from Jon and I for being such great hosts to the both of us as well as making sure that Ellie isn't the only child getting gifts at her party on the 12th - the BIG FOUR! Eventually we find a handmade bowl for the family that I think would make a great gift and we move on to lunch and a nap for the little one. Below is a video of Ellie playing beautician on my hair that happened a few days back that I forgot to upload and thought it sorta fit here.

Nicaragua Haircut

The rest proved to be invaluable and we met up with Jahzell again for dinner and a movie. All in all a perfectly paced day and yet we achieved all of the things on our list that needed to be done. We get back from the movie and put Ellie to bed. It was too hot and there was too much on my mind, so Jon and I stayed up until about midnight talking outside the casita on the patio. It is amazing how God uses every discussion, every day to work his plan and love into our lives. Thank you Jon for being so open, honest and for the time this week.

Sunday morning begins much like Saturday except church starts at 8:00 and I for some reason think it was to start at 9:00. So shifting into high gear to take showers and get into the Easter dress we head off to church 15 minutes late. Thankfully the Latin American culture is very 'forgiving' of deadlines and we arrive just in time for church to begin. A great and uplifting service was followed by a potluck lunch (which we of course again forgot to bring anything for so only Ellie ate). Walking around the school grounds for the last time, it was nice to see again what has been Jon's world for nearly three years. When we first arrived, we didn't really 'tour' the place and it hadn't sunk in just what I was looking at. Now, seven days later, I had a better perspective of what I was looking at, the people I was talking to and the lives Jonathan has been a part of. One thing though too was the first stage of the school expansion for a creative arts wing had been completed over the past two years and they were looking forwarding to moving ahead on the next stage. That creative arts wind was what many folks back here had given money towards in memory of Leslie shortly after her accident. I took a somewhat deliberate stroll around the building of the first stage and tried to picture what some of the classes were like since it had been built and maybe some of the classes that were to come. It was obvious which parts of the building were new, which windows were fully functional, which doors hadn't been worn a bit by the weather and use. Although I knew that the donations were only a part of what I was looking at, it felt really good to see those dollars put to use in a real world. For those of your readers that donated money for this school, I saw the outcome with my own eyes and I met the real people that get to use that building. It was a great feeling to be a part of something bigger than just one or two people. This school will affect hundreds and hopefully thousands of children that will go and make a bigger impact on this world than any of us could imagine. It was a good 'tour' to have taken on Easter Sunday, the day that the Lord gave it all to us, it was good to see how we sometimes give in small ways in return that the Lord tends to use in bigger ways than we could ever imagine. Truly a loves and fishes moment in my life.
Church greetings/Our Easter dress is sparkling!

In line for brunch/Very happy to eat

Jahzell helps out Ellie/MMMM lunch

Fresh fruit/These capture the 'ellie' cheeks and eyes

Jon looking coy/Then talking with friends

Another Ellie fan/The usual fun times

We get back to the casita and it's time to put Ellie down and get to work for the big party. One of the boys in the compound had spent a few hours trimming back the trees and bushes in the yard preparing for us a space large enough for the pinata so that we wouldn't run into things and even raked the dirt so there wasn't trash, limbs or leaves in the way of the expected fallen candy. We started blowing up balloons and hanging Tinkerbelle our candy-laden pinata. As was typical the entire week, it was super hot, but Sunday seemed to be the worst - hot AND muggy. Although hampered by profuse sweating, we managed to get everything in place in time and went to awake Ellie. It took no time at all for her to shake off the cobwebs and run outside with the pretty Easter/Birthday dress on looking for the festivities to begin. All of the children of the compound were anxiously awaiting her arrival as well.

We began with an idea I had to bring a bit of U.S. traditions to Nicaragua by coloring some eggs and then hiding them and having an Easter Egg hunt in the yard. THe children didn't really know what to think of it, but as they usually do, they rolled with the punches and fully embraced the fun of turning their fingers blue, pink and green of the food coloring dye. We had an excellent support team consisting of the family's housekeeper, Margarita, (that gave up a day off to come and help) and Jahzell (who by the way is completely afraid of blowing up balloons because the potential of them popping freaks her out). Once again us men were saved by the women as Margarita was a pro at running these kid get-togethers and I bet could corral a thousand cats if ever challenged to do so.
The family helps prepare/We start coloring eggs

Ellie is party-ready/Everyone gets into the coloring

Ellie chats up the girls/While we hide eggs

A successful hunt/The anticipation grows

Next was the main event of the pinata. What great fun it is to give a kid a bat and watch him/her beat the crap out of one of their cartoon friends only to have loads of candy come spilling out of its belly. A bit weird when you think about it and put it into those terms, but a lot of fun when you partake in the gamesmanship of raising/lowering the pinata and the cat-and-mouse aspect of tricking the blind-folded child to swing in mid-air at nothing. Everyone tries their hardest to get in a solid swing with contact, but usually it's a glancing blow that merely injures a limb. Getting to the big kids the swings becoming longer swooshes of power and eventually limbs come apart and it's amazing to see the frothing at the mouth that suddenly appears on every child's face. One hit finally loosens a piece of candy and all things come to a halt as the single piece of hard candy is fought over and retrieved. We go through the rest of the children and no one has been able to finish the job. In steps Uncle Jon and a real bat. Oh how the temptation was pulling at me to yank on the rope and have him swing at air without making contact, but the wolves were frothing for too long already. With two solid blows and explosion of Laffy Taffy, gum balls, butterscotch pieces and other hard candy filled the air. A flurry of small legs and hands scurried about trying to grab any and all pieces that they could shove into their rolled shirts while simultaneously unwrapping the first few catches and shoving them into the mouths. It was expected, but hard to believe as Ellie stood by most of the action and needed a gentle push to get into the mix, lest she come away from this bedlam without any candy for the birthday girl.
Ellie gets to take the first couple of whacks (see video)

Then everyone else/While Ellie watches closely

Then Gabriella (video)/Uncle Jon finishes the job

Total bedlam ensues without any injuries!

Cleanup for the birthday/What a cake!

The final scraps were picked up and counted, we brought out the cake next with orange pop to wash it down. I'm sure you're wondering if I was out of my mind to let that much sugar be ingested by 10 little people in a relatively confined space. To that I say, "Heck, you only turn four on vacation with friends you had just recently met once, so live it up!" A beautiful cake made by Joni and the perfect birthday was complete - oh wait, there were presents too - and LOTS of presents. For folks that don't have a lot for themselves, they went beyond the measure of being welcoming in their gifts to Ellie. There were sandals, shirts, books, crayons and all kinds of games that were wrapped beautifully for Ellie and it really showed how great these people are. We were only there for 7 days and they gave as though we were family. I can't say thank you enough. As mentioned before we also had a gift for all of the kids to show our appreciation. The soccer jerseys were a complete success and were covering their existing shirts in a manner of seconds after receiving them. The soccer ball was fetched and we finished off the afternoon playing in the yard and getting completely dirty chasing each other around. It was a great Easter celebration, one that I won't soon forget.
Singing of "Happy Birthday"(video)/Great gifts

A great hair salon kit/Gifts for everyone else

What a great way to end the party

We played into the dark and until we could see no more. Everyone's clothes filthy from having fun and becoming true friends. We said a few goodbyes as Ellie and I had to leave early the next morning and headed of to get some sleep before our very early wakeup call. This was an amazing trip and although it came together in a very short period of time, my memories and experiences there will be remembered for many years to come.

Nicaragua-Day Six & Seven

2009-04-11T16:48:00.010-06:00

We go hiking and swimming on a beautiful day

To start, I'll say that there are days when I fell like Super Dad and other when I feel like someone should call in family services (not really that bad I suppose, but I FEEL like it). Yesterday (day 6) was one of those bad days. We started out with all of the best of intentions and it went down hill from there.

I was brought to an abrupt state of awareness when at 6:02 a.m. I realized that the lights in the room were not on full blare, rather it was just the direct sunlight coming through a 18"x6" window and illuminating the room as though it was 2 in the afternoon. Oh yea, and those muffled sounds were the snoring of my two roommates that somehow were managing to ignore my revelation. I tossed and turned for a while until luckily Ellie awoke and I was able to snuggle and tickle her for a bit. Jon finally awoke at 7:00 and we all just laid in the AC-cooled room as long as possible knowing that today's hike was going to be a scorcher. Jumping to it around 8:00 we packed our bags and headed down stairs to eat breakfast, of course after everyone else had already done so. The group quietly and patiently awaited our completed meals and we all checked out of the hotel and set off for the beautiful El Canyon de Samoto an hour and a half away.

Our first run in with absentmindedness already happened 12 hours ago when Jon and I forgot our tennis shoes in one of the other 2 cars that we had transferred to in route to the hotel (we thought it might be Laurie's but we couldn't be sure) which was going to make today's hike all that much more 'challenging' with a 4 yr old. Neither of us had been there before so we really didn't have a great idea of what the 'trails' were like and how difficult they were to hike, so caution to the wind we pushed forward. After 90 minutes of passing overloaded Nissan trucks and small Honda Civics, we finally arrive at the canyon (which was marked by a hand painted, hand-hewn sign pointing right and down). It sure didn't look like the national monument-type sign we have in the US for the Grand Canyon or even a local state park camping grounds. Good thing we were paying attention AND driving a 4wd car that could take a 60 degree hill smattered with bare boulders and rain-carved ruts down to the river bed. After traversing the flowing water, we finally found a parking spot under some large old trees, paid the locals about $1.00 to watch the vehicle (knowing that it was still a 70/30 chance our stuff would be missing upon our return) and headed off to the great canyon ahead. Enter boneheaded move number two - we forgot Ellie's life vest in the back of the car, but didn't realize it until we were 20 minutes into the hike. Push forward Gen. Forgetalot!!

Ellie takes turns riding people's backs and chatting them up until we get to the rough parts of walking the rocks. Yep this turned out to be every bit of tough hiking that you's think just short of mountain climbing. Jagged rocks, no real set path, tight walks against water's edge, and oh yeah, other groups wanting to pass, coming and going. Feeling the SuperIdiotDad title coming on strong. Jonathan was totally Mr. Awesome Uncle as he carried Ellie through most of the bad stuff until we got to the point of no more walking and everyone swims to the other side. Enter Dumb Move number three - packed too much to carry while swimming. It was a good idea to have Ellie wear shorts and a t-shirt over her swimsuit (see, Grandma Dad isn't completely screwing this up) but it's bad when he has to carry her, those clothes, extra water bottles AND sunglasses and hats WHILE we try to swim without a life jacket. So Jon swam with her in tow and I carried all the crap. Luckily on the other side was a hut where they were selling floatation devices like tubes and life jackets for $.50!
Not kidding needing 4WD/The first check point before REAL hiking

Dave in fron of the 'life-saving' stand

Lori & Ellie/The beautiful canyon view

We pay for a life jacket and drink one of the bottles of water and we were on our way again into further parts of the canyon. By now the walls of the canyon are 125 feet high and absolutely breathtaking. Most of the 'hiking' now is swimming and portage across rocky 'sand bars'. Ellie was towed by Lori most of the way in and I think both girls liked hanging with the other. I felt again like a bad dad because every time I went to help Ellie swim it was always "No Daddy, I want Lori to do it." Ugh, can't win for losing. So we get to what amount to probably half way to the end of the Canyon and we come upon a cliff jumping location that has different levels of roughly 20' at the lowest and about 50' at the highest and stage in between. We all swim up to a spot across the river to watch a few jump and quickly Jonathan and others swim over to participate. I of course needed to be responsible and stay with my 'helpless and fragile four year old' and watch from afar. But as much as life usually gets me, I soon find that the urge to throw myself from the edge of a cliff into water from AT LEAST 30' is all too tempting and that one of the girls could watch Ellie for a moment or two. Just before I swim over we see Jonathan at the highest perch after painstakingly climb the 'tricky' rock edge to get to his perch. With a bit of light banter to encourage him, Ellie gives him a five count and whoosh he jumps...splash! Perfect form, now I'm not saying that it looked like form that had been practiced and perfected elsewhere - say the cliffs in Pella - I'm just saying it was a safe landing in the water here;-) I join the group on the rocks and begin my ascent to my perch at about 30' above the water and Ellie gives me a three count (not sure where the factors of 10' effect the number of seconds I get before I plunge to the water before, but it did) and I jump...SPlatsh - yeah that's what is sounds like when the legs aren't completely together. Can you say WEGGIE? Not to be without a perfect jump I climb up to the same perch and do it again - this time legs together and arms in tight. The only fault was non-pointed toes so the flats of the feet sting a bit, but success enough for these cliffs. It's starting to get more chilly as the sun is moving creating shadows in the canyon so we start the return swim.
Cliff jumping spot-upper right is 50'/Bob enjoys the swim

The group minus Michelle and Ellie/The Three Muskateers

Uncle Jonny with Squeeker/Dad with Elliebird

Not sure why we didn't figure it out earlier, but one of the girls - Amira - was in an inner tube and offered Ellie to ride in her lap instead of swimming. Due to the water getting colder and her stomach being much emptier, I think Ellie was more open to this offer. So floating back to the lifesaver hut was much more fun and a lot faster. We gave back the floatation devices and thought to ask about the boat back this time instead of hiking back over those crazy rocks - it turned out to only cost $.50 a person. Uhh yeah, we're riding that bad boy back to the dry land. Although we had to wait for a boat to return it was the best $1 I spent all week. (Actually as before I didn't have my money with me and actually Robby paid for the boat and I still owe him for it - Jon can you cover me now that I'm back in the Sates? Thanks Robby!)

We finally get back to the cars and are all absolutely famished and Ellie has asked no fewer than 50 times 'Can we eat now?' PB&Js are promptly started and the chips and drinks come out. The ladies change into dry clothes with one another holding up a towel while the guys continue to eat more food - typical. We're all refreshed and full we head back to Managua in the same groups as we arrived in. Along the way Lori captured the hilariousness in our car on her digital camera and it really captures just how great Ellie had been all week during all of our travels.
"I can't feel my face."
"Crazy faces"
"Silly Goose"

We got back to the casita after once again going through the car shell game and along the way picking up all of the things that we had forgotten to take to the canyon. Oh well, it's the thought that supposedly counts right? This proves that when a four year old is involved and swimming is the activity that no, actions are more important than the thoughts. Thankfully we were with great friends that all took turns covering for a deficient dad and did it all with smiles on their faces. Thank you all for an unforgettable trip - both to the canyon as well as the trip as a whole. Everyone of you 20-30 somethings are doing amazing things with your lives and you should feel proud of the lives you lead. You are making a difference in this big world of ours one life and one day at a time and you are proof that one person can make a difference. It's amazing to think that with the help and direction of God, you can not only make a difference today with the people you meet, but if blessed by God, you make change happen for generations to come and that's what these people are doing by teaching the next generations and by sharing the Lord with people that aren't always thought about. God bless you all, may God's hand continue to protect and bless you as you forge forward.
I'll leave you with a gorgeous sunset

Nicaragua-Day Four & Five

2009-04-11T15:52:00.006-06:00

Even at 50 mph, this place is beautiful

We’ll start with a question of the day because sometimes there are moments that are really funnt that should forever be captured. I’ll ask the question and we’ll answer it at the end of today’s entry. The question: 'Uncle Jonny, did you pee on his tire?’

Now that I have your attention, let’s get right to it. Wednesday was a rush start and somewhat slow finish. We left San Juan Del Sur at 8:00 and tried to make good time back to Managua so that we could join up with friends Mark, Lea and Joni to go surfing. Through Jon’s best efforts we did, with Ellie and I getting a bit green behind the gills sitting in back watching Cars to pass the time. After a short intermission and more packing of the bag for another destination we set off for surfing and playtime.

Ellie got to stay and play with Mark’s family in an apartment/condo complex that had all kinds of other kids, a pool, a park and of course more movies to watch. After a small amount of disappointment that she wasn’t able to go surfing at the beach, she settled in to like the idea of swings and a pool. Then Jon, Joni, Mark, Lea and I went off to find some great waves. It took us about an hour to get to the place where these guys tend to go quite often and it looked beautiful. If I knew anything about surfing I’d say that it’s amazing that more people haven’t heard about this place. The break was about 6 ‘ and relatively consistent throughout the day. We had a small accident in the group about 2 hours in. Lea took a board to the head/face during a wipeout that looked vicious and I’m sure throbbed with pain, fortunately it was only just that. Unfortunately her day was done and thankfully another group of surfers that had shown up, agreed to take her back while the rest of us stayed to surf. At this point my chest had a pretty good ‘board rash’ on it and I had enough for the day. So while Jon, Joni and Mark set back out to find more perfect waves, I stayed on shore and decided I’d try my hand at rebuilding the small fort on the beach that had once stood but had since been pulled apart. I did what I could and got it put together with driftwood from the surrounding area. The next step for the next builder should be to bring some orange storm fence or some other netting to create a better shade that allows the wind to pass through. I felt pretty good about my efforts and sat to watch the surfers for a bit. An hour or so passed and I started to get bored so I walked around a bit and tried to find shells or rocks for Ellie’s growing collection. With the sun still beating down I decided to walk back to the truck, climb in the bed and take a nap in truck’s shade. Thirty minutes later the others arrived and we packed up for the day. It was about 6:00 and time to head home and get Ellie. I saw some beautiful Pacific Ocean views and an amazing sunset, but it was time to get back to my little girl and listen to her great day.

We get back to the casasita where we’re staying and all of the ‘family’ is out playing in the cool of the evening. We of course get sucked in for another hour or two playing hide and seek and throwing the ball around. The family’s kids have really accepted Ellie and although the language barrier is still there, everyone seems to be trying to learn from one another and still play. The kids are excited that It will be Ellie’s fourth birthday on Sunday and that we’re having a big party. Unfortunately we should have gone to bed a few minutes earlier as we ended up having a small accident playing Hide and Seek. I was helping Ellie hide and we were the last ones back to base and were running, Ellie in my arms. We turned the corner at the back of the house and I lost a flip-flop. Not to be deterred or caught I continued running and a few steps later tripped on the remaining flip-flop with Ellie tumbling in front of me. Oh man was I absolutely devastated. There’s nothing worse than seeing your child get hurt – except being the cause of it. She’s screaming and we make our way back to the front to inspect the damage. It turns out to only be a skinned knee, thigh and forehead, but still it’s time to call it a night. After wiping everyone down with a washcloth because there’s no water at night for a shower, we put a band aid on the knee with some aloe. We crawl into bed, all licking our wounds a bit, sunburns and skinned knees alike.
All of the 'family' thinks Ellie's quite the attraction

We deicided to sleep in on Thursday as we have breakfast with Hasel (Jon’s girlfriend) at 9:00 and really are all exhausted from the day before. Today is a scheduled slow day and more travel day to the Canyons North of Managua about 3 hours. We eat with Hasel and then run some errands for the birthday party and get some additional snacks for the trip later. We also get to see Hasel’s home and even watch Sleeping Beauty (while Jon takes advantage of the downtime to become a little Sleepy Beauty of his own). Ellie snuggles in with Hasel, thumb firmly planed in the mouth and manages to almost fall asleep, but not quite. We’re off shortly after the movie ends to pack up for the trip to the canyon before Laurie picks us up at 2:30.

Packed up and somewhat recharged, Laurie arrives and we hop into her car, only to drive to another home to change cars again. From there to our third house where we meet Bob and Rob, roommates that both have larger SUVs that’ll be driving the 10 of us in the group to the hiking place in the canyons. Somewhere in the mix we forget to transfer one of the bags, the tennis shoes for hiking. Ugh, now we get to hike in flip-flops. We are in the car no more than 20 minutes and Ellie is sound asleep on Laurie’s shoulder. It’s a relatively quick drive when Jon tells us he needs to make a ‘roadside stop.’ Not uncommon as there aren’t too many QTs around. Ellie wakes up when the car stops and of course asks ‘are we there yet?’ The answer is not yet and that Uncle Jonny needs to go potty really quickly. We all wait and someone mentions ‘going on the tire’. Ellie picks up on the conversation and as soon as Jon hops back in those wonderful words come tumbling out of her innocent mouth. Now ‘caught’ by his 3 year old niece, Jon smiles slyly and answers ‘Of course I did Ellie.’ And we all chuckle at the moment and Jon’s honesty. We get to our hotel that is 2 hours into the trip and unload for the night.
Some beautiful views in the car on the way to the canyon

Like I said - Nicaragua, a hidden paradise

We go out looking for a quick dinner and after double-backing at least four times, we find a place that’s actually open (due to the Semana Santa holiday) and pull in. We experience our first power outage of the week that Jon has told us about so many times being a frequent occurrence but we have only had one in our stay. The staff brings out candle and we eat by candle light for a few moments until power is restored. We have one of the best meal that we’ve had all week and head back to the hotel once again tired and ready for bed with dreams of another great day tomorrow planned.
This shower actually had the water ON the electrical - no way would this pass in my house;-)

Nicaragua-Day Two & Three

2009-04-07T21:25:00.009-06:00

Having a great time - wish you were here!

What a beautiful place this is and I'll admit not a place on my 'vacation radar' but I'm so glad that we have made the trip! This place was called a 'paradise' by my sister-in-law Brittany as she just finished making this same trek about 3 weeks ago and I would agree with her whole heartedly.I would recommend this to anyone looking for an out-of-the-way vacation spot that allows you experience the 'real' culture you go and visit. I think a lot of that also has to do with our 'tour guide' in Jonathan so it may be a bit biased.

Anyway, I didn't realize it at the time because the message hadn't been relayed on to me yet, but the last entry that included Ellie meeting the pilot may have had more significance than I had realized. It turns out that Ellie and I had a discussion last week about HOW Leslie died because she finally asked me that question. You know me, I'm not going to pull and punches with Ellie and tell her the truth. It turns out that she understood about 75% of what I said. Meeting the pilot may have proven a good thing (and shows once again that the hand of God is always working) because she mentioned to my mom just before we were to leave on Friday evening that she had a dream about Mommy's plane being driven by a pilot that flew it into another plane and that she died because of that. Oh man, that hit home. So today (after I read the email containing that info) I had a quick sit down with Ellie to try to add a bit of clarity for her. Her Mommy didn't hit another plane, rather the weather was really bad, the pilot was really tired and made a few bad mistakes and the plane fell out of the sky and that is why Mommy died, not because of hitting another plane. We rolled through a few soft tears and whimpers of missing mommy, but after admitting that everyone misses Mommy and that she can always talk to anyone and that it's okay to cry and miss Mommy, we were once again on our way out the door to enjoy our vacation. Record set straight until the next dream or question arises, we enjoyed the beach and played at the playground and listened to a really bad local band pay tribute to the virgin Mary for the Nicaraguan holiday that begins tomorrow of Samana Santa.

But I get ahead of myself a bit on our location and happenings. It began yesterday with us hopping into the church minivan and heading 2 1/2 hours South to San Juan del Mar to enjoy the beach, a hotel with WIFI and a bit of walking around to see more real Nicaragua. Driving - or riding shotgun- in any foreign country is always an experience and really this added to the many I've had. Not that there was any trouble, just interesting how others drive, how liberal they take the laws and speed limits and how amazing it still is to me to see any cars of the early 70s to be in working order.

We get to San Juan and immediately head to the hotel up the street that's twice the cost and has four times the pool as the one at our hotel (honestly I still haven't even seen ours) and jumped in for a cool refreshing dip. We had a great time and enjoyed the beautiful view of the bay from our perch halfway up the hillside. We watched the sun begin to touch the horizon of the Pacific Ocean and headed off to have dinner - pizza. Yeah a bit American in choice, but the eating palette of a 4 year old is something we have to work with. For lunch we tried eating along the beach in the bay and went to a seafood joint and explaining to them a child-friendly item like a grilled cheese sandwich and fries seemed to really push the envelope of capability. So not wanting to push the edge again we walked to a great local pizza place and ordered and even had them deliver the pizza to our hotel! With bellies full of pizza and water we rifted off quickly, spent by the sun's rays and the city's many winding streets.
Wasting some time watching movies/Our casita (small house)

Jon and Ellie play in the pool/Ellie wants to throw Jon's shoes

Waking today at 6:00 sharp, Ellie quickly let it be known that she was hungry. Seriously, can't we start the day with a shower and maybe a check of the email? Nope, it's time to eat and be on our way! Actually it turned out that after breakfast, our morning was a pretty mild one as Ellie somewhat lost her drive once her tummy was full of pancakes and OJ. So we took our time getting out into the city and started off for the park around 11. Pushing her on the swings and then 30 minutes of looking for the world's long lost fantastic rocks in the playground filled out our morning. Finding fried chicken for lunch at a mobile semi-trailer made for good food and a needed recharge. We don't move fast but frequent 'recharges' are needed in this min-90's heat and humidity. Thankfully there's a constant subtle breeze that makes it all bearable. Think Iowa in July - late July and you're about where we are now. This is great! Refueled and ready to roll we head over to the beach again and proceed to play tag with Uncle Jonny and then play in the ocean with me. It was a great day and really another fun-filled Tuesday. I am such a blessed person that I sometimes find myself following my little sunshine, smiling ear to ear and completely beside myself with wonderment of how could I be fortunate to have such a wonderful family, little girl and loving God. It really sneaks up on me sometimes.
'Slow' morning of jumping/dancing on the bed!

Nice juxtaposition/our little Condor

I love pushing the swing/Then show off the new headband

Playing tag w/ Uncle Jonny/Check out the water

Just horsing around

I take Ellie in to the water/Then teach her to never turn her back on it

Then we play some/ Make our way back

A tuckered lil' Ellie/Until the camera comes out

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. There are times that I know many of them have been heard and the Lord cntinues to bless Ellie and I and I thank you for helping me in such a powerful way of prayer. It's really an amazing thing that is extremely hard to define but very easy to see the results. Have a great week and I will try to write again as soon as internet is available.

Off To Nicaragua

2009-04-06T21:30:00.007-06:00

We get to meet the man in charge!

This week I thought I’d take you all with Ellie and I to Nicaragua instead of boring you with some small details of the house like we finally were approved by the city for our plumbing inspection. It wasn’t so much because the city was that far behind or that the plumber was bad (because I AM the plumber in question), rather it was just that I couldn’t really find time to do the small little things left over that were needed before calling in the inspector (mainly get the master bath tub running without leaks). So this past week Tuesday, the inspector stopped by and gave the thumbs up on everything and even commented how well he thought the house turned out. I give all the credit to every volunteer that gave your sweat and hard work to make that happen. It’s been just over two years since we started this whole thing and I would never be where I am today without you! So with the news that the plumbing is good to go, I will move on to more exciting things of Nicaragua.

It began with a call to ‘Uncle Jonny’ who has spent the last 2½ years there teaching High school math to kids of local missionaries and some local Nicaraguan kids as well. His birthday was the 29th of March and for his birthday I thought ‘wouldn’t that be cool if Ellie and I went to see him?’ To make a long story short, within 24 hours I had decided to buy the tickets, throw caution to the wind and spend a week with my brother-in-law and share an Easter and Ellie’s 4th Birthday with him.

This was made a bit more challenging as I decided this last Saturday, giving me only a week to acquire Ellie’s passport (after realizing that just a birth certificate wouldn’t be enough). Okay, well as in most cases, it’s all about being organized and willing to pay a little more for things when you REALLY need them. For those of you that don’t know (or have a reason to know) there are places online that provide up to overnight delivery of passports if you want to pay for it. How it works is those cities that create the passports (i.e. D.C., Chicago, etc.) have agencies that literally walk you apps into the office to get your passport. So with 24 hours before the plane was due to leave, the passport arrived via FedEx.

Off to the airport and Ellie’s flying high in spirit. She asks no fewer than 16 times “are we there yet?” throughout the trip. Getting past that question wasn’t so difficult when pointing out the many other wonderful distractions of how planes work, who stewardesses are, where the pilot sits (which she got to experience), who the kids are in the seat behind us and the many other things that I tried diligently to ‘discover’ for her. She was her adorable, well behaved and the perfect little lady to all that we met. She introduced herself with ‘Hi, my name is Ellie’ to every person we sat next to and every flight attendant that passed by. Needless to say Ellie made quite a few friends along the way.
A quick pic before we go/We meet the pilot!?

Say howdy to everyone around us/Brush our hair before bed

Finally arriving in Nicaragua was great. The temperature at 9 p.m. was about 75 degrees with a soft wind and fragerence of flowers and a touch of diesel fuel from the air planes. We passed through customs without a problem and then hit a speed bump waiting for our luggage. Poor Ellie, by this time she hadn’t had her usual nap because she was so excited to see Uncle Jonny and was finally hitting the wall. She was so tired, but a perfect lady, that she just collapsed next to the luggage turnstile and sucked her thumb and waited paitiently as seemingly everyone else retrieved their luggage and we continued to wait for our last piece to appear. It’s in those simple moments that I realize just how blessed I am to have been given this little angel who has taught me so much about my faith and a out love and about being a father. I know for a fact that the Lord hand-picked Ellie for Leslie and I because He knew the road we would be traveling and knew that Ellie is the only one that would make it possible for me.

Finally our last bag appears and we hustle through our last customs check and go outside to find Jon waiting for us in the crowd and Ellie’s face once again lights up. It was great to finally be at the end of our travel and time to get a bite to eat and get some much needed sleep. We hopped into the borrowed 4Runner from a church friend and set off to get a bite to eat. I don’t remember the name of the place but we had a great meal of grilled chicken, rice and beans, a cold beer (Ellie of course had juice) and a piece of fried cheese. We were introduced to the different culture immediately, not by the little kids looking to load our bags into the car and then looking for a small tip, or the concrete and tin housing, or the random dogs and people walking here and there as we drove, but by the resturaunt bathroom not having a toilet seat and me having to hold up Ellie above the bowl and then washing our hands in a sink that was outside the bathroom in a random place that was pretty much in the middle of the restaurant. Of course there were the questions by Ellie of “why is this and why is that and what is that man doing that or why isn’t there a sink in the bathroom Daddy?” and thankfully Ellie would take the answer, process it and then just move on and accept the different world she’s now in and keep moving on. Her flexibility and personality to roll with the punches amazes me and I’m sure at times I take for granted.

Waking up the next day at the house of the family that is hosting Jon, we are awakened by Elllie at 6:15 and the sounds of the local birds, trees swaying and the fans blowing. The casita we are sleeping in is relatively large for what I expected and well maintained compared to what I have experienced before in Latin America housing. The floors are clean and the craftsmanship is well done. The usual brighter earth tones of brown, oranges and yellow are everywhere and the bed is surprisingly comfortable. The temperature feels like it’s already climbing to the upper 70s and it’s time to prep for church at the small Christian school Jon teaches at. Taking a shower with a shower head that has been locally named ‘the widow maker’ due to the electricity being hooked up literally to the shower head, makes for a bit more tense shower. Jumping out of there, clothes on for church off we went to church about a mile a way – if that. The main roads really aren’t that bad, sure a few pot holes to watch for here and there, but for the most part it’s the side roads that you could lose an axle on.

After church we were invited to lunch at Papa Johns by our host family and I thought it might be like grandpa’s house (theres the Dutch training coming out) but no, it was actually the Papa John’s pizza we all know – I felt a bit sheepish. It was a family-style restaurant which was different but stil the same great food. Then we played at the local mall arcade and won enough tickets fromt eh skee ball and ball shooting game to NOT win a single toy. So we told Ellie to give her tickets to another little girl and she was destroyed. The hanging head, shuffling the feet and everything so we quickly thought to go for ice cream. All was better and we were on our way to take a nap as the temperature was nearing 90 and we were starting to feel the effects of the warmth and lack of water. After taking about an hour nap we jumped into our suits and headed to another church friend’s house to play in their pool. What a beautiful house and a great pool that hit the spot for everyone. We stayed for a home-cooked dinner or roast, mashed potatoes, green beans and super chocolatey brownies. I thought I was still in the states and our tummies were full the brim. Meeting a lot of people that Jon has come to know over the past few years makes this trip feel more than just a tpical vacation at an exotic location, but a visit of friends and family in a far away place. It’s really been a great start to an impromptu trip with my little girl to see a family member that I Ellie and have missed so much over the past 2 ½ years.
Uncle Jonny is excited to see Ellie/WE all head to the pool

Horsing around like only Dad can/Pose with Jon in the pool

We all watch her jump in 'by herself'.

Dancing With My Star

2009-03-29T21:26:00.006-06:00

This entry will be less about the house progress and more about my personal progress over the last month or two. It will include ome things I've done with Ellie, some reflection time I've taken and even some freelance work that has given me a bit of confidence that I actually still can design.

Lets' start with the best part, Ellie's dance debut as a Junior member of the Shine Dance Team at Pella Christian, a dance team that Leslie had a large hand in turning around from a somewhat mediocre and not really school-supported team into a growing team sport that allows young women find their rhythem, grace, team work and a way to praise the Lord all in one place. I can remember back when she took on the project and completely immersed herself in the team. It wasn't enough to just find music and create routines that entertained crowds or won State Competitions (which unfortunately she never was blessed to see the fruits of her and their labors turn into said awards. Although the teams tried hard and gave every bit of what they had at Leslie's prodding, it just wasn't there. It turned up the year after she was killed that the team finally achieved a category 'One' in competition for a dance they performed (on a rising scale of 4-1). I can remember the days after Leslie's crash, the girls were under a different coach at the time, but still were connected to her and State competition was only a few days away and the girls weren't sure if they were going to be able to perform. Myself, Russ and Caryn stopped in to talk with the team to see where their heads were and to maybe try to convince them to follow through on competing. I can remember some discussions back and forth and then ending with tears throughout the room being rampant. I waited a moment and the room fell silent, I stepped a half step forward, looked around and made eye contact with as many girls possible while saying to them, "Leslie was so proud of every single girl in this room, not because of the skills of dancing, but rather the ability to glorify the Lord by your dancing. Other schools may do this because they have been dancing since they were old enough to walk, others because it's another way to get out of PE class, but here at PC, it's for a different reason altogether, it's because we are blessed to show the glory of the Lord to all those we come accross and not apologize for it. We get to show how the Lord moves our feet, beats within our hearts and how our lives are changed by dancing for Him. Ladies, the question is not whether or not your perform, it's how well will you perform." Then I turned and walked out. Simple and straightforward. Not that my words had anything to do with it, but that team went out and earned its first Division One rating ever and ever fan of PC knew that a special fan was watching from above and was more proud than anyone. I was in the stands to watch that performance and I wanted to shout and whistle and holler like I'm known to do in such circumstances (as most of Pella can attest that I have been blessed with a LARGE voice), but all I could do was to stand, clap and feel the tears flow down my cheeks.

Fast forward 2 years and my little girl gets a personal invite to the day-long 5 years old and older camp as a 3 (almost 4) year old. I was almost more excited than she was! I still couldn't believe these girls even thought anymore about Ellie, but then again, knowing this town, these girls, our Lord - how could they NOT think of Ellie? I am still often humbled by the support and love that people share with us. She needed to be there by 8:00 am with t-shirt and sweats on and ready to work. Well Grandma Caryn took her and they had a great time. I arrived to practice with 30 minutes left and I think it was good timing for both of us. Although I was excited about it, the dancing and practice is still something that even this dad hasn't quite gotten fully 'interested' in, and I think she was at the end of her 3 year old attention span. I showed and she immediately lit up - I'm sure I did too. We took off at noon to let the 'big girls' practice and went to 'old McDonalds' for lunch. It was a great day and the big performance was only 6 hours away. It was amazing to see my little girl out there on the floor with all the other little girls and see just how much she has grown, how much Leslie has missed.
Ellie working it and getting her groove on!

The big night was upon us. Caryn had her dressed 'super cute' as I like to call it. (Cuter than I can manage to do unless someone buys the outfit for me.) She was all buzzed on the excitement and could feel the stage being set up for her. In some ways Ellie has been blessed to kind of be the center of attention in many of the circles we run. Mostly because of who she is, but also because of the history we've gone through. Needless to say she was living it up that night and many eyes were on her. The performance went off without a hitch and she did and amazing job.
How can you not smile looking at these?!

Take a look at the performance for yourself.

The rest of the show was outstanding. The new coach has really elevated the program to new heights that I don't think even Leslie thought possible in the short time that it's been. The respect that the team has now within the community and school has really changed as well. Although there's still room for growth there, the Gym was packed and it was a non-stop performance by the dance team for almost 2 hours. They brought in the boys into routines, musicals, and great routines. There of course was the farewells and the goodbyes, but one of the most powerful moments was a dance from the two senior captains. It was not so much the dancing (although captivating) but the audio recording they created with their voices on top of the music that was especially powerful. The line one said of "although we've had four coaches in four years' really cut me for some reason. Or maybe it just resonated and didn't cut, either way it struck a chord that again made me think of the one person not in the gym that often talked about the dream of watching her little girl dance, jump and show praise for her Lord. I know Leslie was proud of Ellie and I'm sure was dancing with her in her own way. Some day I hope to talk with her about it and listen to how she continued to check in on us and watch us. That night though, I was surrounded by something that Leslie started 4 years ago, that was such a huge part of her and something that Ellie absolutely loved to be a part of. It was a great night.

That definitely is one of the larger things she and I have done, but it's really been the small moments that we've shared in the last few months that have meant so much to me. Just tonight we had our weekly 'movie night' and had an amazing time. We were watching Tiger Woods win another PGA tournament on the 18th green and we were rolling around on the couch just giggling, tickling and forgetting about the rest of the world. We were safe, happy and together. Really, what more is there to life? Nothing.

The past few months I have tried to take time to sit by myself, enjoy the times of quiet and to enjoy listening to the conversations bounce off the walls within my own head. I have to come up for air every once in a while and ask others for advice or go to lunch just to get perspective, but it really has been great to go into the dark (as I previously described). I haven't made as much of a dent in the 3-season porch pile o' boxes, but I'm trying my best to do so. There always seems to be twice as many things to do than what I account for. If there were only those things I account for, I think I'd be able to make more progress out there, but as life usually has it - there's more crap to do than I can get done in 24 hours. I cant necessarily say that I've come to anymore peace with Leslie's death or that I still don't wish she were here every day, but I think I'm starting to get more perspective on how to continue forward. I can't say that I'm charging down some road to 'the future' but I do think that I'm at least not stuck in neutral anymore. There are some things that I do regret, but hey I think we all have things we'd like to have a second chance at, and that's okay as long as we don't repeat our mistakes or dwell too long on them. I'm working really hard on the latter. I'll have to let you know how it goes a few month from now.

The physical change is going slow as well, but I do feel progress being made. Flexibility, endurance and a very small amount of strength are all coming back around. I have to remember that it took me more than 6 months to get in the crappy place that I'm at right now and it's going to take me more than 6 weeks to get out of it. But I'm sure we know it's one thing to SAY that to ourselves and completely another to believe our words. I keep plugging away at it and trusting that I'm going to make my goal and be a better person for it. THe physical change is an integral part of the mental change for me too. So much of my outlook relies upon how I see myself in the mirror as well as how I think I'm progressing mentally. It's a road that I know won't be short, easy or without sacrifice - but then again what in life that is worthwhile ever is?

The next entry I'll go through the house and take pics to let you know where things are at - both inside and out as I've been trying to work outside in between rain drops too.

2009-03-15T06:36:00.015-06:00

The always shy Gabrielle folks...

Well it's time to catch you all up on the Christmas/winter season and I hope to do so in one entry. There hasn't been much house progress of note, but what is of mention is the amount of time I've been blessed to share with Ellie. THis is what all of everyone's efforts have been for and I'm more than simply 'happy' that it's coming to be a reality.

It's been a somewhat liberating winter as I was laid off from Meredith back in November. That has really allowed me to take some time for the house, but more importantly for Gabrielle. To give you a short recap, I was asked to the meeting room, and as I was walking down the hall I said to myself, "If there's someone from HR I know that it's not going to be good." Unfortunately not to my surprise, there was an HR rep and it wasn't good. I can only say that my boss is someone I will truly miss as she was a great person to work for, nearly every single person I worked with at Meredith - from everyone in the Books Group to those in MIM and the SIP group - all were a blessing to me. The co-workers and bosses that I enjoyed to work along over the past three years were true professionals as well as friends. It's an extremely rare situation that someone could say that for their place of business and I consider myself truly fortunate to be in that small group. Although my end was abrupt, my friendships and great connections will continue to last for many years to come.

The extra time allowed me to buckle down and work on a lot of little items on the to do list around the house. A few items were installing the master bathroom vanity, sinks and toilet. (Yes, I can actually USE my bathroom now.) I have completely rearranged the master closet and put my clothes IN DRAWERS - it's crazy but true. Doors were hung almost everywhere - there are still 4 to go but it's a start. Painting, continual cleaning, installing lights, installing switch and outlet covers and a bunch of other random jobs fill out the list. It really hasn't been an every night or even an every week thing, but I've tried to just stay focused on the task at hand. I would show a few pics, but I think the ones coming up are a bit more interesting and meaningful.

With all the time everyday to work on the resume, meet with potential bosses and a random todo item, the evenings have opened up for Ellie. Add on top of that the holiday season and it really made for a great time to play, sing and just finally be a fulltime Dad to Ellie. I can't tell you how much this has changed me. It had been two long years really working on the house in a state that required me to focus on the house before Ellie. While I'm not ashamed of that, nor would I ever have done it differently, I am most definitely happy the lion's share is over. I now get excited about playing dress-up three times a day, or dancing in the kitchen, or playing E BAke Oven AND then cleaning the dishes. We're still kind of working out the kinks of the schedule to include dinner and play time in the evening, but we do have a scheduled 'movie night' every Sunday that only requires handmade popcorn in the Whirly Pop, a small candy selection and a movie of Ellie's choosing. It's something that I adapted to the way that Leslie and I often spent our Sunday afternoons - relaxing, enjoying each other and the day that the Lord made for rest. While I might sneak in a load of laundry or a small todo project every once in a while, the majority of time we're chilling out and enjoying our time together.

One area of relaxation this time gave us was to play in the snow! I bought the snow blower attachement to the riding lawn mower instead of the blade due to the size of my drive way and Ellie has helped me on more than one occasion clearing the snow this winter. The greatest fun though was spending the day in Pella with the Van Hemerts and sledding in the small park accros the road from their apartment.

We had just gotten another 4-6 inches of 'fresh powder' and we all decided to hike out to the park with sleds in tow. It was a fantastic afternoon, right around 27 or so degrees but the kicker was no wind! IN Iowa, that's the deal maker/breaker. The sun was out and the skies were clear. The hill was only about 30' but I'm sure it seemed like a mountain to someone just over 3 feet tall (although I think she only went up the hill on her own feet twice). I got the inaugural ride with Ellie down the hill and then that was about it for the day. It turns out that she was more interested in the playground at the base of the hill, and then the playhouse on the other side. All in all the day was amazing and I'l let the photos speak for themselves.
All bundled up for the first snow/Head to toe

Taken by Ellie!/Buddy's not so syre

Bundled and ready to go

Russ tests the sled - success/Ellie tests my pulling ability

We head down/And enjoy the ride

Aunt B tries it out/Then goes vert

Ellie likes snow angel making/Brit not so vert anymore

Russ and Caryn buddy up/ROLLING down the hill

Russ tests gravity/Brit goes ol' school

Ellie sees the next thing/then tells everyone to follow

It's the sell/And we're off!

Brit's not giving up on the sledding

Russ is in for more too/Then buddy ride

Ellie finds the slide/Then a game of tag

Now follow the leader/Grandpa makes it harder

Grandma and Ellie/Oh the rough life

Ellie and Brit/PILE ONNN!!!!

We also had a great Christmas (make that about 4 Christmases) that was a landslide of gifts for Ellie. Our house is a bit more full after season, and unfortunately so are my pant sizes these days. As I introduced in the last entry, I'm trying to make me smaller. I thought I was going along smoothly until just about a week ago I actually stepped on a scale (my scale is still in a box in the 3-season porch). It turns out that I'm in a much worse place than I thought when I began. I am officially the heaviest I have EVER been. There is a lot of shame running through me these days and my physical condition is right there at the top of the list. If anyone has an idea for a 'jump start' plan, please let me know. I'll keep pushing and not get discouraged just yet, but I do have a mountain to climb. Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts, I appreciate it more than you know. See you next week.

Leslie Was Worth It

2009-02-18T23:11:00.012-06:00

The feet that help me dance everyday

I'll start by warning you that I have no idea where the direction of this entry is going so bear with me. It's a tough one because if you've been following the last two entries we're at the beginning of November in timeline supplemented with modern-day follow-ups. Also if you've noticed I left off at Nov. 8 - five days before the you-know-what. So I'm jumping in that pool and letting you all in on what I did November 13th, 2008 - the 2nd anniversary of Leslie's accident. I'll also share with you that in only what I can describe as a 'coincidence', my iTunes has just begun to play 'It Is Well with My Soul'. I'm not sure if this could get any heavier, but I'm going to dive in regardless.

I started November 13, rising and singing to Ellie as I have come accustomed to doing lately now that I'm home more and I think it helps the both of us to start our day on a happier note - no pun intended, We had a 'special breakfast' at Old McDonald's of eggs, pancakes and cinnamon rolls. Then we were off to Pella for the day and then back home for a 'party' of sorts. More on that later.

We arrived in Pella and per my MO I relied on the moment to provide. I assumed Wal-Mart would have flowers since I didn't think the flowers would keep (which is ironic since I left them outside in 30 degree weather - whatever). So I walk in with Ellie and of course there are no flowers to be found. So per my other MO, I asked the nearest worker there to help me since I don't like to waste my time wandering about trying to find them - she happily went to the back coolers - and as 'the moment' would have it, the truck had just delivered the next 3 days-worth of flowers. Huh. I picked out the best two bunches and was on the way.

We pulled up to 'Ellie's Bench' and hopped out. Ellie identified it without help whatsoever - 'It's right there Daddy. It has O-B-A-N-N-O-N on the front!' Walking up I noticed a small bear had been laid the day before with a single rose. Leslie always liked roses. Ellie was checking out the bench because it was the first time that there wasn't snow everywhere or too cold to actually sit on it or asleep in the back seat when we had stopped by in times before. She asked what the picture was o the seat, although she knew that it was Daddy and Mommy. 'What are all these words on the back Daddy?' 'Where do we put the flowers Daddy?' "Can I sit on my bench Daddy?' I tried to answer the questions as quickly as they were being fired at me and honestly it took away some of the pain that I had expected to experience driving to the cemetery. We unwrapped the flowers and placed them in the small vase and took some photos. It was a beautiful morning that day and the sun glistened off the jet-black marble and warmed my face as I tried to take a moment of silence with my love. Half way through a conversation with Leslie, I was again interrupted by 'Daddy, look at me running through these rocks!" Looking up I see my little angel running through the adjoining headstones trying not to fall over from the sideways slope of the hill. Immediately a smile took over my face and the sounds of a giggling 3-year-old filled my ears. 'Daddy les play hiden seek!" So yes, Ellie and I played a full game of Hide and Seek amongst the head stones where my wife lay. It was a remarkable turn of events that to this day makes me smile and will forever change the way I think of that place. Everyday I am so blessed to have been given that wonderful gift of my little girl, but no day was it so clear. Although Leslie wasn't there to laugh and run with us in the grass, I don't think she was too far away.

We then went to Papa Russ' office that is just around the corner. If there ever was a case of someone being able to walk into a room and demanding attention without trying to do so - it belongs to Ellie in just about any room she goes into. Grandpa came out 'working' and not paying attention to anything but that and a little voice broke his concentration immediately. 'Graaaaandpa!!' One word and the whole play became smiles and a place of play. After raiding the sticker drawer, getting an adjustment, crying a little in Russ' office and giving my 'Dad' a hug, we left to have lunch - with Grandma at the hospital.

Ellie had never seen where Caryn works, although she very clearly understood that 'Grandma has to go to work' and that was at a hospital to help people. Again, the call of 'Grandmaaa!!!' stopped the world that was within earshot. The common all-out sprint-to-open-arms in the middle of the hospital, followed by the non-stop chatter of what we've done so far in the day again brought the smile back. We sat and enjoyed lunch, although Ellie was really more concerned about the dessert and tried to barter less bites of real food for more dessert. She's smooth I tell ya. Then we were off to take a 'quick' tour of the wing that Grandma works and to meet the co-workers that we often hear of. Of course we couldn't get out of there with our hands empty, oh no, we had a bag full of 'doctor's clothes' (nursing scrubs complete with foot booties and hair nets!). Oh the hours to look forward to of playing doctor or nurse!

Leaving there we headed back to home to prepare for something that would be unusual - but the entire day was unusual right? We had to ready the house for a dinner/'party' of the grandparents, great-grandparents, my girlfriend and her kids. It still sounds kind of awkward, but really, it all turned out okay. In the full support that Shana has and had always given me, this was just another situation of gathering the family and at the time she was working in to become part of that family. I know to those outside the everyday process this may sound awkward, but if you think about it, my life will always include the Van Hemerts - for MANY different reasons - and if there is ever to be another woman in my life, she is going to have to accept my past AND my entire family. I hope that isn't too much to ask/expect of that person, but it's critical to me. Along those lines Shana accepting of that. As folks arrived there were a few moments here and there of uneasiness, but they soon disappeared - and I'll give you one guess why. Ellie again commanded the evening. With the newly acquired doctor's clothes we all were roped into being a patient, a fellow surgeon, or just a bystander that was often asked for approvals or ideas for symptoms/remedies for the newest patient. What could have been a very awkward evening turned into a great ending for a full and event-filled day.
The 'head doc' poses for a pic/She still talks with her hands

Ellie and Sam/Ham it up whenever a camera's close

The Patient/Getting told how to wear a hat

Jake has a broken arm/That must be ticklish

Ohhh the funny bandades/GreatGrandma listens to a story

Patient Grandma/Gets the full body cast

It's all a good laugh/For everyone

Sam shares his doctor tales with me

Looking back I can come to many conclusions like Ellie is my sunshine everyday and the day I needed it most, she shone the brightest. I love my family and I know they love me. Although we all may be without a connecting piece in Leslie, we all have made the deliberate decision to remain connected to each other. This tragedy will not divide us; rather make us stronger, both as individuals and as a group. The Lord is mighty. I can point to many instances throughout the day where I see the Lord's hand at work and it still gives me strength and confidence. I still love my wife with all that I have and I miss her immensely. I'm not sure what the days, moths and years ahead have in store for me, but I do know that love from a soul mate IS possible and IS amazing when it happens. Even when it happens that you experience that kind of love AND you even praise the Lord everyday for that blessing, it can be taken in an instant from you - you should STILL be thankful and live everyday to its fullest and not worry about whether that day could be the last.

I often think of that day just over two years ago when I woke up i the morning to the sound of Leslie rustling in the closet, preparing for the day ahead. I knew she was anxious for the flight, for the meeting, for the months that were coming in which we were preparing for other major changes. That day was a good day, it was a day like any before it that I was gifted with a wife that loved me completely, a child that was beautiful and the center of my world, a job that I loved to do and people I loved to work with, I had a house, a car, all the trappings of a 'successful' man-to-be all lined up. The most important was I had a faith that was growing by leaps and bounds and little did I know that it would all be tested, and in some cases taken away, by the following day. I have tried to replay that day in my head hundreds of times, trying to remember more details and in some instances I do. The one area I can't get to be any clearer is those few precious moments that I laid in our bed, listening to her ready for the flight. Her gentle kiss and then watching her disappear down the stairs...Why can't I remember her scent? I know she had perfume on, always subtle but always there. Why can't I remember how her hair flowed through my fingers as I let her go? I'm SURE that I touched it the night before as we fell asleep. I miss her shape fitting perfectly into mine as we fell asleep. I miss touching her ice-cold feet as we 'connected' on last time before we fell asleep every night. It was a small gesture, but no matter WHAT the day had been - a fight or a great day or a tiring day or an everyday-day, we could also connect one last time as we drifted off to sleep. That simple, small touch of the feet was confirmation that 'I'm here, I love you, forever.' I miss that. I miss her. I still have the love, but I no longer have 'my love'.

Some day I'm sure Ellie will have all of these entries to read. Some she may read and some she may not. Either way I hope she understands the kind of woman her mother was and the kind of love that I have for her. Although there may or there may not be another woman out there that I can accept and who can accept me for all of my faults, baggage and rough edges, I hope that Ellie knows that I love her mother with all of my heart. Some day my heart might be able to 'grow to love another', there is forever a place that is Leslie's, a place that is sacred and I hope I'm able to show that to Ellie in a way that enables her to love as we did and have the hope that it WILL last forever and not to hold back. That is my mission, to help myself and my little girl love with everything that is inside. Yes this hurts like hell, but I will be the first to say I would do it all again - even knowing the outcome - because Leslie was worth it.

The 'Program' Starts Today

2009-02-16T18:27:00.019-06:00

Can't go wrong starting a blog with a pic like this!

To start here are a few pics of the completed driveway - literally hours before the snow/sleet arrived. The guys showed up on Tuesday after the workday around 8:30 or so and worked into the dark - around 7:00 or so. I even turned the headlights of the truck so they could finish up. A good indication of the right decision of this neighborhood, the nextdoor neighbor even turned on the lights in his car for the crew - totally cool neighbors. The finished product came out looking great and REALLY made shoveling this winter bearable. (I also got a new snow thrower for the front of the mower - so that helped a little too.)
The back turn around/Working the front walk

Getting ready for the next truck/Back steps

North side of the house/The crew

Uhhhhh yeah./Back to work with day light

Removing the street entrance/The girls watch and have fun

Pic taken BY Ellie/Just hamming it up a bit

My Elliebird in a great mood

Hamming it up - where she gets these things...

About the same time as the work was being done on the driveway, my master bathroom was getting tiled. This was one job I knew was WELL beyond my skillset. I had two guys from Universal Flooring (Kelly and his cohort) come in and lay the marble floor and shower with an intricate glass/marble inlay as well. It came out looking beautiful and every bit as fantastic as I had always hoped. Although it wasn't photographed for a magazine as originally promised, it looks every bit as inspirational as you'd find one to be. I feel proud that I was able to create such a fantastic space without 'professional' help and made the crown jewel of the master suite just that. It gave me a lot of confidence that I questioned often before. If you'l remember in previous entries, that was an area that I whole heartedly trusted Leslie with and to be thrust into that additional role for this house really freaked me out. Although there were some things that really turned out well for the magazines, I have to say that I can definitely now play the game of interior designer for my style and my space just as well as anyone. In that regard, I look forward to having the Grand Opening in the Spring to bring back all those that have helped on this house - I hope you can make it. If I don't have your contact info, please email me so that I can get you an invite!
The soap dish insets/With marble around them

Glass tile detail/Back wall glass tile inset

Kelly checking level/Nice shirt

Kelly 'butters' the tile backs/Layout of tile before installation

total concentration/I swear it's James Hetfield from Metallica!!

The finished shower/Roger shows me how to install the drain correctly

Of course I have to redo the work/Steve rests after moving the tub

I work to get teh plumbing in place

Speaking of being published, I was SO blessed to have multiple rooms published in differeing magazines in the psat few months, with one more on the way. I say blessing and I honestly mean BLESSED to have the great teams at Meredith continue to create great rooms for this house. The project editors, the tradesmen, the photographers and the layout designers - all put their best into each room and I am forever indebted to them for it.
Kitchen & Bath Makeovers - Summer 08

Bath Makeovers - Spring 09

Storage - Early Spring 09

Let's fast forward to more recent times. I've just come back from visiting my brother in Minneapolis and helping him with HIS home (putting in tile floors, painting, etc.) and I had some windshield time to ponder some things. I'm not sure that any one thing was revolutionary, rather i think there were a bunch of smaller thoughts. In no peticular order here are a few:
1. I REALLY miss Leslie and I can't get away from it
2. I'm happy for Sean and Sarah and their new home. It's fun to see a young couple with all the hope and bright future awaiting them
3. Sean has a great sense of humor, it's worth the effort of pulling it out of him
4. I have the best family in the worl - hands down. When anyone is in need we all swoop in to help. THAT'S what family is all about.
5. Although ending the relationship with Shana was difficult I still think it was the right thing to do (and that's still not easy to say out loud)
6. I'm spending more time with God and I'm more at peace when I do
7. Although I was gone 4 days to MN, it took 4 minutes to miss Ellie
8. Life seems so full of opportunity, I'm tired of waiting for that opportunity to turn into reality
9. I love being a designer, but I am flexible enough to run a business and hopefully will some day (maybe sooner rather than later... who knows)
10. I think the 2 years that have passed since the accident have served well as a 'perspective finder' in that going into the next mourning phase I am better prepared because I think the shock has worn off and I can better accept some of the pain and loss that I am starting to go through when I open another box in the 3 season porch and then bring the contents into my new house
11. Although this house doesn't feel 'empty' by any stretch, there is a void
12. All of the people that have helped on this house have realy given me someting that I'll never be able to repay, say thank you enough for or can ever be taken away
13. Although I don't currently have a job, I think it's not only going to turn out okay, but I think that I'm going to come out ahead in many ways - most of which I can't even describe as I write this entry
14. I often times think of other people's lives I've run into over the past 2 years and the only one I wish I had done something different was not stopping myself to pray for a good friend of mine in the middle of the grocery store parking lot whose child was in the hospital fighting for his little life - damn I wish I had done that. I pray for hime often now

It's been a very interesting couple of dayssince the last post and a lot has happened, one thing is that I have recently looked in the mirror and honestly, have been ashamed. Yes the past two years has been rough, but there is no excuse for my disregard for my own health and well-being. In response to that, I am now 'back on the wagon' (hopefully for life) of diet and exercise being a critical part of my everyday. I have a very special day coming in July that I want/need to be ready for. So my goal is aggressive, but would I have it any other way? If anyone out there wants to join me in the effort (create your own timeline or goal) and help each other remain accountable, let me know!

Into The Dark

2009-02-08T20:51:00.036-06:00

The work is always easier with big machines.

You know I just finally said to heck with it, just write damnit. I have so much floating in my head and I'm so behind on the 'progress' of the house that I always felt trapped - couldn't do one without doing the other. So now it's going to be a bit haphazard but I'll try to keep things as clear as possible. I did crank on a few pics of early November and I hope to go through some current thoughts afterward.

First is the 'work day' on about the 1st of November (it could have been the 3rd or 4th). I was pleasantly surprised that my father-in-law Russ came up from Pella to help and he brought his brother, Stan, and I put both of them to work! The project for the day/weekend was ripping out the driveway before Fall left and Winter set in. As it turned out, the timing couldn't have been better as it was - literally- the last 3 days of Fall before the sub-zero temps and rain/snow set in until this weekend's weather of the 50's. Anyway, Russ started cutting back the earth near Ellie's Park that would allow for a retaining wall to be installed the next day (Saturday). I jumped in a skid loader and was tearing into the driveway when I handed it over to Stan and then I jumped in the OTHER skid loader to move dirt. When we all weren't working like mad men I was taking pics for a story for a trade magazine.

See, the rental of one skid loader was donated by the local Bobcat dealer - the same dealership that had donated a year ago for the work day that the Central College students came to help and a few friends Vermeer helped clear the back yard and clear some trees. This time though, it was all about how an everyday-Joe-homeowner could use multiple attachments of a Bobcat to get lots done. Great story, angle, PR stunt. It was a win-win for everyone! The other loader was donated by Shana's dad who has one for his business. I owe him HUGE as he's let me have that multiple times.

That day went really fast and we tore it all out and I went through 5 MORE dumpsters - crazy, I thought I was done with those things. The next day I was ready for 3-4 workers to put in walls and tear out the driveway, except the driveway was already out and I had 6-7 volunteers. Nuts how the Lord provides MORE than you need... so I had two ladies inside cleaning the house (because they WANTED to - really!) and 5 guys outside throwing around pea gravel and landscaping blocks while also leveling the ground for the cement forms to be ready. I also fell victim to 'while you're doing that, you SHOULD really do this..' advice and I also pulled the entire walk way and sidewalks. Needless to say the project once again grew larger than originally planned. To cap this entry, the guys came on Tuesday and laid the forms, poured the cement and finished the whole job in ONE DAY. Nuts. Over 5,000 square feet in 10 hours, it still blows me away. Good thing because as I said, the weather hasn't been good since that day and I would've had a half complete driveway this whole winter - very bad. For now I'll just show the destruction since this one is already too long;-)
The before images:Front/Back view

Before:Nice plywood sidewalk/The start of a hole

The Bobcat working/Tears up the driveway in no time

Stan cleaning things up/Russ starts the bed irrigation

Russ Starts cutting the edge/Then rests a bit

SATURDAY
Greg & Russ trench/Dan does a dance with the drainage tube

Ron is all business/Greg isn't.

Sean's where he LOVES to be/And does some fine tuning

Ron starts the first row/I use another attachment to dig

Colin, Kevin and Ron push through/I get a lift

The boys are going a good click/Uncle Al and Mark do hand work

A little pumpkin suicide/Mark isn't so sure

Ron & Russ dance with plastic/Pumpkin smashing over back to business

I get help from Jake putting in the line before concrete/Sam plays

A 'finished' wall!/An installed sprinkler system!

On to current times for a bit: The most recent and bigegst news is that I ended a year and a half relationship with someone that has been an amazing blessing for me. I honestly can't put into words just how important Shana has been to me over these past 18 months in every aspect of love, friendship, child rearing, faith building, patience, understandning and all areas of support and communication. Why then end the relationship? Because in the walk with Shana I had always thought that the shared pathway would make the eventual entrance into the 'dark room' of Leslie's loss easier, or that I might be able to go in with someone, or at least have someone just outside the door while I searched for the light switch. As it turns out, I got to a place where that 'dark room' was all that I had in front of me. It was at every turn - all that I could think of and all that consumed my day from the moment of rising to the last ray of light as I went to bed. It came to be something that I knew as hard as I had tried to work through with someone a lot of the things about mourning and love lost, I had still to address Leslie face-to-face with no one around. Complicating that experience/process with a significant other only makes that harder, more complicated and in the end, not as true. So I did a very hard thing, I told Shana that as hard as I tried, my heart was still with Leslie and that in order for me to be able to give it to anyone, I needed to walk into this room alone - without anyone outside the door waiting for me. Sure I still have friends and family that await a call, invite to lunch or the occasional email, but for the most part that room is dark, cold and still lurking. Finding the new source of light inside will not be easy, and I wish I didn't have to do it alone, but I know that with the Lord by my side I will find it. This is by far the hardest thing I've had to face in my life. The loss of my father when I was 26, just after graduation from college, or my other names sake, Grandpa John, died 5 years ago (and then Grandma OB a year ago), or the loss of one of my best friends in high school were all life-changing, they formed who I am and how I see my faith as a driving force and how I understand death to be a very reall part of life. None of those, I think, have or will have changed who I am and the course that I will take from here on out. There are of course the obvious things like Ellie, or the fact that Leslie was that person that I loved at my core. There was also the most important part - she brought me back to the Lord and showed me how to have a relationship with Him. This process that I'm in won't be an easy or quick process I'm sure, but I think I'm ready. It probably won't be something that I complete and then never return to it. No, I'm sure it will be ever-present for some time. What's it going to be like, how long will it take? I have no dea. It took me two years before I think I could remove myself from the actual accident and having enough 'things' pass that I am now in a place that I think I can have some objectivity that I can gleen lessons learned as well as hopefully have some of my heart start to heal in some permanent ways. All of these things I hope are true as I have no idea if they are, but I can only begin to find out by taking that first step into the darkness.

I'm Back And Ready to Roll

2009-01-14T16:30:00.009-06:00

Oh man, I sincerely apologize for those that have come back more than once over teh past 2 months looking for an update of any kind, life has been tulmutious (I know it's hard to believe;-) and I haven't had the time to get back to this. Hopefully over the next few days I will be able to catch you up on what's going on here. I see that my last entry was in Oct. (GASP) Let's correct that.

October 21
After WEEKS of having this thing and that thing jump in front, I finally begin to lay the tile floor for the laundry room. It's crazy I know, but I actually WANT a working washer and dryer in my house. Honestly, I really DO want to wash my own boxers and fold Ellie's jeans. It's a part of a home, part of living a normal life. It took me three days (spread over two weeks because again, things continued to jump in the way). To top it off I actually paid someone else to do the final grouting - although I DID seal the floor myself because it's natural tile. So I don't feel too guilty about it.
A little fine tuning/The saw in the bathroom

My mess - I mean tools/Just getting started

About the same time I started to also tackle some of the lighting that has been stashed away in the closets and other nooks and crannies. I installed the entryway and dining room first as it would make the greatest impression (and they were the only ones I could afford at the time). They cam out fantastic and brought back some of the original house feeling although the weren't as ornate as the original lighting, it was still great to see something other than a bare bulb hanging from bare wires. I've continued a little more since then to include the back entryway, the outside front light and the laundry room. I'm on a roll now I tell ya!
Main entryway hall lights

Well to be out done, I hired out the tile work in my master bathroom to be done. I know my limits (sometimes) and this was definitey WAY out of my range of ability. The glass tile, the insets in the floor and shower walls, the cutting of a zillion pieces to fit windows and the curve in the floor - oh that curve. I'm sure I would have screwed it up only six ways from Tuesday so the mony was well spent. The installers ( Kelly and his sidekick) were in the bathroom for two weeks solid and totally banged it out. they even poured the floor for the shower and framed the door and created a seat in the shower (to cover up a bolt holding up the outside chimney). I have to give them all the credit, they truly made a breath taking bathroom with that tile work. They are true artisans in their craft and you can see they love of what they do in the finished product. This room is roughly 14'x10' with a 4'x4' shower off of that, so a good size and they really got 'er done to keep me moving along the path. I put up those images tomorrow (after this archaic MAC processes the images) and continue on to the present day in roughly 4 more entries. I'll try to keep the dates correct and I'll weave more emotions - good,bad and otherwise - as there's been quite a bit of that going on inside of me which is why I'm trying to get back on this horse. Til tomorrow - sleep well y'all. God Bless,

Electricity That's Real

2008-10-24T14:19:00.002-06:00

I haven't had a work day since the 4th (my dad's birthday) due to mt mom getting married on the 11th (absolutely fantastic!) and another weekend spent at a retreat looking into my faith and what God is asking of me. I could go on and tell you about the work during the week on the floor in the laundry room and how it's taken 4 nights to complete as opposed to the 2 nights it should have taken, but I'm sure we all don't need that downer. Although I'll show you the pics because it's another notch in the tiling ability belt.

Instead, let's focus on some things that have come to be a bigger impact on me than I thought would or could have. First is the addition of a handful of new family members to the O'Bannon clan. Over the past 12 months ALL FOUR members of my family (2 sisters, brother and mother) have gotten married. Interestingly enough all have met the life partners online - don't know what the says, but it's a fact. I'd like to think that it means we are in a changing society and that this tool which I use to tell my story is also growing to become a social tool for long term relationships as well as looking up random information on a search engine.

My mom waited for her date for many reasons, not the least of which were to be after the others in the family. A further example that she has always put her children first. Another is that she and her new husband Greg wanted a smaller, more intimate setting as it fit their stage in life better. It turned out to be a fantastic day weather-wise and a truly beautiful ceremony.

It's not too often that a child gets to see the union of their parent in matrimony. I have struggled somewhat over the past few months with my future stepfather, not because of one reason or another due to his lacking, rather I think it was because of my wanting my father in the role of my mom's husband more than anything else. Although my siblings and I have many times discussed how we all wished Mom would find happiness and we all admitted that it would be tough for many reasons when that did happen, I never realized how or to what extent that difficulty would be for me. I'm not saying that Greg is replacing my dad, or that he even wants to - or that anyone thinks that's possible, but he is taking a role in the family that was for many years my father's (and even in some ways was mine) and now must be changed to be owned by Greg. It's a tricky business of melding two families together that are fully grown, have their own rhythms and have defined roles for everyone already in place. To have new roles or new places to fill is an adjustment that takes work and takes opening the mind to accept.

At the end of the day I saw my mom happy again. Not just 'oh the Vikings just won' happy, but 'a glow from the heart, eyes twinkle like they haven't for over a decade, cheeks are rosy from constant smiling' happy. My heart was full for her and Greg. I know my father was watching closely. He'd be happy to know that my mom is being taken care of and that she has someone to take care of as well. As I stood near the back of the line during the ceremony holding Ellie, I noticed again what it's like to see the electricity between two people that cannot be interrupted.

That made me happy.

A Window And Doors

2008-10-22T15:45:00.005-06:00

That won't stop the bats at all

October 4th seems so long ago - and it kind of is - about 2 weeks. It was a beautiful day to do work when the temps were still in the 70s, now unfortunately the leaves are turning faster and the mercury seems to be plummeting. I had a couple of guys stop over the help and I bet you can guess who - Kirby and Ron - yep, but the surprise was Jon the concrete block guy!

Jon came back to finish the glass block window in the master shower (so we dont' get any bats this winter) as well as fill the gaping hole left behind by the HVAC guy that installed the vent for the downdraft in the kitchen - so we don't get bats this winter. Yeah it's a theme that I believe in strongly. Anyway, Jon finished all but 3 block that ended up being an odd size and I had to find them later in the week. Not many places carry a 6x6x4 glass block, so I had to be patient, and risk bats in the house. Well I didn't get bats, but I sure did acquire a LOT of flies that are now dying off. Anyway the window turned out great as did the brick by the kitchen.
Jon preps the last row/then adds final touches

Placing the last brick/WTF?! Did he use a canon?

Just a tappy-tap to clean it out

Kirby meanwhile started on the new baseboards and door trim in the master bath. First was puttying all the nail holes with 'spackle' then going back with primer - all very exciting. He had to leave at noon for football (he IS a standout WR at high school on the west side - just ask his dad!) so his dad took over. Ron was setting up the door in the basement to be primed. Rather interestig little maze he created that would allow the sprayer to hit both sides in one application. It sounds like a great idea until the sprayer (eventually me) keeps bumping his fast --- into the newly sprayed doors either because he needs to get on the treadmill and/or the doors may be a touch too close to each other. Either way RON did a great job ingeniously hangning the doors so that they pivot and all can be completed soon. I was hoping for that day, but that's another story.
As usual laying on the job/But having fun!

Ron's a scary man/Very Scary

I sanded and painted doors and ran around town looking for more paint, and then spent 4 hours cleaning out the darn sprayer because it gunked up while waiting for me to find more paint - and the original paint was too old, so needless to say I wasn't in the greatest of moods. All of that on top of the fact that I've never painted anything indoors with a paint sprayer that needed to be a 'finish' piece. So the pressure is on to make them look every bit as fantastic as the wood already in the house.
Details/It's ALL in the details...

Shana as always took a few pics while bouncing in and out of the house to take pics for me and take her own as a professional photographer of weddings and families and high school kids and little kids - pretty much anyone that needs a family memory recorded. thank you Shana.

It was a great weekend and we got a lot accomplished and I'm looking forward to installing the tile in the laundry room, master bath and some other flooring not yet determined in the master closet. Gotta paint int there yet ;-)

A Day At The Races

2008-10-06T16:27:00.003-06:00

My seat at turn one by the pit row exit

Every night I'm doing something at the house or at church and it gets to be too much some times, really. I know the end is near but sometimes I'm not sure if that end is going to be the end of this house or the end of me. I'm not really sure why but it seems like I can't sustain my drive for this work as long as I used to, I get tired quickly in comparison to last year. I think there are probably a number of reasons for that, but I get tired just thinking of all of the reasons. So instead of doing either activity that gets me tired, I took off the weekend of the 28th and did something I've never done, I went to a NASCAR race in Kansas.

Many people, millions even, attend these races all across America and have every bit of a 'cult' following as any NFL, NBS, MLB or MLS weekend may have. (Sorry for you non-sports junkies, those abbreviations were for the major sports in America.) I don't know a lot about NASCAR and it's never really captured my attention, but I'm open to learning any sport - especially if the tickets are free - which they were. There are other sports that interest me like rugby or polo or even horse racing - the betting is the difficult part, but NASCAR has always been on the outside fringe of that. Anyway, it was a great way to get out of the usual scenery, take in the beautiful fall/summer afternoon and hang with a few guys.
The flyover of helicopters/Across from the pit exit
Last lap before start/AND THEY'RE OFF!!

The last few cars on the start

It was a fantastic time. The two things that 'they' tell you that no other sports that NASCAR has, the cars go by SO freaking fast and it is SO LOUD I can't tell you. As the cars pass by you can actually feel it in your chest (we were 12 rows off the track so I'm sure that helped) and you can feel the heat of the cars and track as the race wears on. Amazingly the 160+ laps went by surprisingly quickly, much faster than any race I had channel surfed on TV. Another thing the TV doesn't catch are the workings of the racetrack, like the trucks that have jet engines - literally jet engines! - attached to their rear ends to help clear the track. Man you talk abou losing your hearing - that'll do it. Another TV miss is the array of people at the races. Talk about the 'everyman's' sport, if you include all the tailgaters that don't even come in to see the race - I think just about every demographic is represented. As the guy I was sitting in the stands with, the greatest thing is that every week, EVERY team is at the race. Whereas in the NFL or MLB it's this team vs that team - only. It took a second to sink in, but that's kind of neat. Could you imagine seeing all the NHL teams playing in one location EVERY week?

My only real hang up was the one thing TV does well was help the uneducated fan know what the heck is going on and what car is where in the lineup. As I said, these cars are going 180 mph and you only see the numbers on the doors as they pass by - did I mention at 180 MPH? They also all have color schemes that to the knowledgeable fan are identifiable (somewhat like when I walk into a bar and glance at the TV, I know it's the Bears vs the Bucs in 2 seconds b/c I know the helmets, colors, etc.). Again, seeing these cars at wierd angles and having them move so fast, it's hard to stay on top of things. Thankfully there are restarts due to crashes, equipment failures and such so the pack gets straightened out.

Back to the good things, we had earphones that allowed us to hear what the racing teams are saying in the cock pits. Interesting concept I think. Could you imagine what would happen if all fans could hear in the headsets at an NFL game? Each team knows what the other is doing and it all comes down to one executing better than the other. Finally, I got to sit next to a guy that knew what was going on and just a great guy to talk to. I don't get to talk with him often, say once every 3-4 months b/c he's from Pella and a friend-of-a-friend kind of thing, but a great person to know and have contact with. God does amazing things in our lives and he puts people in our lives for a reason. I had no idea who I was really going to hang with going into this NASCAR experience, but it was a great experience that I'm glad I took the time to be a part of. Thank you to Russ and Keith for the ticket, thank you Daryl for the knowledgeable track side banter, it was a great escape for a few hours.

Crazy Bath Day

2008-10-03T15:58:00.005-06:00

The weekend of Set 20th was a day of beautiful weather AND progress. Good friend Steve N. stopped in again to help, little did he know we had a messy todo list in store!

Our main task for the day was to prep the master bath shower walls for tile as much as possible. We hung the blue board like pros and finished in no time (3 hours). Although I'm a big fan of the rotozip tool - I'm not a big fan of how much of a mess it makes! Function over form I always say (something that Leslie many times would frown upon) as it gets me to my end goal much faster.
Steve posing for the pic/WHILE I actually work

Hanging this new Durock is SO much easier

We also got the opportunity to finally put Ellie back into her room after the floors finally dried after being re-surfaced. The walls still need touching up and base boards installed - but she was excited to have her own 'brand new, just for Ellie' bed. This new arrangement really opens up the room and makes it feel once again big, especially for a house of this age. It allows her to really make a mess - and she's happy to oblige;-)
Temporary layout of bed/Until the wall is fixed and painted

The other bathroom has seen some progress as well. Although it seems the guys are having to hop scotch their way around the room due to availability of materials, they make a little progress each week and i think you can kind of get a sense of where the room is headed. It'll be a beautiful space when completed and Ellie will have many years of 'beautiful' moments in there I'm sure!
The tile floor/Tub surround

Overall room without glass door/The shower floor

This week just a little progress without much 'lifestyle' notes as I'll add more to come. We also got the glass block in for the master bedroom window so the brick layer can start on that ASAP and then the tile guy is at full go.. oh that reminds me, I should confirm that he actually has me on his schedule...crap.. gotta run.

Ellie Update 9-08

2008-09-19T12:48:00.009-06:00

What a Great Summer!

Hello all,
In previous entries I have talked about being inspired and doing things a bit differently, both in life and on this blog. One of those minor changes that I'm hoping to make is a new 'section' of the blog called 'Ellie Update'. What seems to be a straightforward name and hopefully meaningful addition, I hope to do a couple of things. First, folks have mentioned in the past, but I think I was reminded again recently by a good friend that the house is great to hear about but don't forget about me and Ellie, that those images are what 'bring it home' as it were. So I'm happy to oblige, and I'll be doing just that. Secondly, I hope to write stories about our everyday life, not that many will be life-altering, rather just everyday moments that stick out from week to week for whatever reason. I think as life continues on retaining the connection to Ellie and me is harder as everyone continues in their own direction. Finally, I see a lot of other people in Ellie and through Ellie and it always strikes me when it happens.

Beginning then the inaugurel edition of this section, I'll grab the low hanging fruit by showing a few images of our summer. Some were taken by me, some not. I'll try to keep it brief so you can just enjoy this little girl as she grows up right before our eyes.
Cooling off at the fountain/And very wet but happy

BIG slide ride!/In the main concourse

Finished - a bit uneasy/NOT happy this ride is over

A bit earlier in the summer we went to Adventureland Park - a local amusement park that was a work-sponsored day. We had a fantastic time and it really felt great to create awesome memories.
Started out rough/Soon the Tea Cups made it all better

Great fun spinning/the more spinning in the air

and waiting in line/to spin more in the air...

and then on ground - more spinning/then some water to cool down

LOVED the spinning/The water though...

Lots of fun since Sam took the worst/group shot

Then we drove the boats

Then headed for more water AND spinning/Everyone has fun

UNTIL SHE gets wet/So we got slushies

And fed the fish

THEN to the bumper cars!/Boys vs Girls

Finish up on the train ride/and a little smooch

It was a long day/ EVERYONE was t-i-r-e-d ;-)

Like I said in the beginning, what a great summer we've had. Although the progress on the house may have suffered a tad, the memories that were created are more important hands down.

Checking Off The List

2008-09-17T11:48:00.018-06:00

Oh how the list took a beating!

The past two weekends (I'll do the 6th and the 13th together to save you time and me mental stress of remembering exactly what was when ;-) have been outstanding. I've had great crews of volunteers and we've knocked out some list items, while finding out that the glass tile might push our schedules back on the master bathroom completion date. Bummer, but let's focus on that which we can control...

On the 13th I had Ron V., Shana, Gma & Gpa Vande Ree, and Steve N. all in attendance. While Grandpa got to work doing what he does best - painting/priming the master bath, closet and laundry room - Grandma go to work on pulling off the tabs from the misconceived Velcro strips in the kitchen. Turns out that wen you're hanging ceramic tiles on a wall, Velcro doesn't still too well after 4 weeks and it falls and breaks and hurts people. So we're fixing that by creating a new mural from a photo that we took of my grandparent's old farm pump house that we took on a summer vacation earlier this summer. (We O'Bannon kids spent A LOT of our childhood at this farm and we all have fond memories of riding the horses, swimming in the cool - but gross - stock pond, shooting guns, etc.) It'll be great and a fantastic piece of family history for all to enjoy. Grandma also installed the remaining outlet and switch plates for the 2nd and 3rd floor. Were now a safe place to be for everyone - no more possible 'excitement' when using appliances.
Gma Helen takes off the Velcro/Gpa starts in the master shower

Then moves to the wall/The new artwork

Shana helped Grandma for a bit with the outlets, then switched to helping Steve install three new trees in the front and side yard as well as later installing 3 bushes in the front flower bed. The big tree in the front will be a red maple (slow growing and lots of shade in the summer) and the two side trees were columnar white pines that will provide a bit more privacy to the side patio. It had rained quite a bit last week - or was just not sunny - so the ground never dried out and it made planting much easier because they BANGED IT OUT. I look forward to those trees that we've planted over the past 12 months to start filling out and giving the house a new look. Also the idea of some time down the road saying 'man those trees were so small when we first planted them...'
The corner maple tree installed/The 1st pine tree installed

The maple looks 'small' now/The 2nd & 3rd pine trees

Ron, in his usual magic style, helped me remove some cabinets that were once in the master closet (that again were a misconceived use of space organizers) and we let the dry wall guy cover up out mistakes;-) Then Ron tackled the shower controls and installed 2x4s for the shower door to hang on after the tile is installed. It was a bit challenging in the end due to the manufacturer not giving a 'shut off valve' unless the actual guts of the handle are also installed. Needless to say, Ron and I were in a wet T-shirt contest for a few minutes and Ron clearly won.
Comin' OUT!/We balance it on the roof waiting for Steve

So with the water now functional and drywall drying, we called it a day and had a beer.

Earlier in the week the drywall finishers came in to mud and tape the master closet, bathroom and laundry room. On Saturday the owner stopped in to make the final touches so that Gramps could start priming/painting. It's an amazing transformation that can happen in 7 short days.
Touching up a popped nail/Finished master closet walls

A finished bathroom (but very messy)

To back up another seven days, the previous weekend of the 6th I had another great day of progress. Again it was Ron, Kirby for a bit, Mary, Shana, Jake, Sam, Amy T, Barry and Dan J. Lots of 'little' things were accomplished that just eat away at the clock if I have to do them all by myself. With many hands it goes blazingly fast.

Dan started early and installed the 'fart sucker' in the powder room on the first floor. Now if we could just a DOOR on that bathroom... one thing at a time eh? Then Barry and Dan got started with installing the closet shelving in both the hallway and extra bedroom on the 2nd floor. Since the original built-in closet got ripped out before I could say 'whoa', there's just been an unusable hole at the top of the stairs. Thanks to these gents, I will now have a place for the extra linens and towels when rooms are complete! Barry kept on pushing after most had gone home and painted the base shoe (1/4 round) it's final coat since it only had been primed before installation - dude was a TROOPER.
Dan starts on the fan/Finished product - no more stink!

Barry trims out some can lights/We carry in a very heavy box

Barry works on the shelving with Dan/Moves on to painting

... Shelving/More painting

Mary helped out all over the place, putting things here and organizing things there. Then she helped rip out the aforementioned cabinets from the master closet. i couldn't tell but I think there was a little whistling of joy coming out of the closet along side the whir of the drill but I couldn't be sure. Later she assisted me on hanging the last couple of sheets of dry wall in the master bath walls before the dry wall finisher came in on the following Wednesday.
Closet BEFORE/AFTER Mary's handiwork

Drill, whistle/Drill, whistle..

Out for good/Sam don't look so surprised

Jake and Sam got into the mix a bit and helped with dry wall. Jake learned how to use a rotozip for cutting out plumbing holes in drywall. Again I think there was a bit of happiness to his step as he learns how to 'do' more and play with power tools. I'm just helping out the next generation have a better appreciation for power tools! ;-) Jake and Shana also painted 1/4 round and door jams on the first floor and basement in the bathrooms so those are finally completely done - minus the missing doors.
Jake not so enthused/Shana cleaning the walls

Jake MORE enthused - ready for battle/Shana tapes off for drips

I show Jake the fine tips/Then they both watch

The finished work/Sam helps 'advise' Ron

Ron tore into finishing the installation of the dryer vent that I so cleverly forgot to install be for the walls went up the first time. If you're noticing a pattern here of work that is being redone, yes I have too. We gotta stop this or it's going to be 2010 before this is all done. Anyway, ron also worked on some drywall replacement in that room and got the exhaust to the crawl space on the 3rd floor, so a ton done in one day. His son Kirby removed the Durock on the Master Bath floor where the tub will go because the plumbing is not in the exactly correct place. So he pulled that up and pulled screws to the sub floor so I can get in there and redo that before the tile is set. Again the redoing of work... Thank you gents for redoing my mistakes ;-)
Kirby tears out Durock/Then removes screws

Ron's Finished work/Climbing in for the ceiling

Making sure it's square/Collateral damage

Amy took off door handles in the main entry and replaced them with other 'new' antique handles after going to Lowes to get a number of different materials that we needed for the day. Unfortunately she had to play the runner roll that day, but she was happy to do so - so she said.
Amy focusing on the details

Finally, I share with you below the progress in Ellie's bathroom by the tile guys. Although it's run into its own bit of snags, it's coming along very well and it will be beautiful when it's all complete. I'm not sure it's going to the the deadline of September 20th, but hopefully the new date won't be too far behind. It's kind of been a bit of a personal goal of mine to finish the master first, and who knows I may actually accomplish that! Whatever the date of completion I greatly appreciate Meredith coming through and finishing this bathroom as we'll be sure to get many, many years of great memories of slamming doors, missed time lines of getting out the door because the makeup 'isn't just right' or the hair needs another 10 minutes to be perfect.
The tub edge/The new shower post

Tub controls and glass tile installed

Just some shots of me - actually working

No it ain't Super Simple...

Well as the first image shows, the list has been cut down a bit in the past two weeks and I'm forever thankful to all of the great people that have helped. As I have hinted in the past few posts, I have some things rolling around in my head and if time and efforts allow, I hope to share some of those things in the near future. I'm sure though as most things have gone it may take me a bit longer than my optimistic mind likes to think. Thank you for coming back and checking this every couple of days/weeks. Hopefully I'll start to give you 'more' to come back for. Take care and I'll see you on Saturday.

Gift Of My Own

2008-09-15T14:54:00.003-06:00

The new gift in the living room

I have meaning to write a few entries that date bcak a bit and this is one that I really need to get out there for a couple of reasons, the most important is to say thank you.

three weeks ago I came back from my brother's wedding in Minneapolis, MN and I found a huge surprise waiting for me. I drove into the drive and noticed some things hanging in the window and wondered 'what the..?'. I carried my first load of crap from the car into the house and when I walked through the door I about dropped everything on top of Ellie's head. I had had 'curtain fairies' over the weekend and to my amazement they had gone to town in hanging curtain rods, some curtains and had laid out options of fabric for other rooms for the entire first floor! Holy cow what a transformation!

I had come to find out in later discussion that my mother-in-law (Caryn) had spent her entire weekend playing 'curtain fairy' with the help of every member of the family at some point during the weekend. So, Russ, Caryn, Brittany, Gma Helen and Gpa Case took their weekend and drove countless times back-and-forth to the fabric store, to Pottery Barn, to the mall, to the Home Depot to find just the right fabrics and rods to make the first floor seem a little more like home for us when we returned from MN. It was perfect! They even moved a few pieves of furniture from one room to the next to begin setting things in a closer-to-final resting place. Man the amount of time and work put it was truly humbling. I know family is 'supposed' to help, but this really knocked me over. Thank you guys, the house is becoming more and more like a home (and teh neighbors are getting to see me less in my undies and I'm sure they thank you too).
The sunroom saw great shade/And some on back order

All in all it finished off the rooms

This was also all set into motion by my girlfriend Shana, who as it turns out also did a little 'scheduling fairy' work of her own. Unbeknown to me she sent out an email to a lot of friends and family prior to my leaving saying that I really needed help as the project was starting to wear on me. Honestly that another entry to cover, but in short that too was amazing and floored me as well. I distinctly remember having the conversation with her about how I'm 'done asking family. They have done too much already and they need to get back to focusing on their own lives.' Sometimes not listening is a real blessing. Thank you Shana and thank you to my family for continuing to help. I truly hope the end is near and every time I think it is, reality sets in, but you're always there.

Since that email, Gpa has come up to paint, elisha and Mom continue to help with Ellie, Mary came and helped on a free Saturday - it's an amazing blessing to have family that through thick and thin always back you up. It was a great way to return from a long, exhausting weekend
for all involved, and have a little more 'home' waiting for me.

I'm Inspired By Another

2008-09-12T12:16:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago I was given a link to another blog site that has awoken 'something' in me. Don't really know what it was or what I'm really supposed to do with it, all I know is that I'm challenging myself to make a few changes in this blog.

I think part of this whole process is change, whether to me, my surrounds, or others that are in contact with me; I think that the effect that this WHOLE situation should have is to change the world we live in as well as how we live in that world. I have added the blog address to the right of a guy in CA that has recently lost his wife only after a few short hours after delivering his newest family addition, their beautiful and amazing little girl Madeline. I'll let you click over to read his story if you like and to maybe get a clearer idea of the source of this 'inspiration'. I will warn you, he does use strong language, but to each his own. I think you'll get a feeling of the man that writes the entries and get an appreciation for what he goes through everyday. The first change I hope to incorporate more of. Although I don't plan on writing daily, or give you all of the raw emotion that Matt shares, I will give you more of an inside perspective of what life is now like for Ellie and I. I know I have shared some of these things in the past, but I think I can do more and I think you may like to know. If you don't give a rip, let me know, but it is a direction I'm going and one I hope you enjoy reading about.

Second, Matt does a much better job of making his site 'interactive'. By that I mean linking to other things, whether sites of information or links to other parts of his site or to his recently released T-Shirt and paraphenalia site, he has more for the reader to do. Not that I'm going to go out and create a clothing line, but the Lord has put in me an idea that I plan on acting upon (how I'm not sure yet) and that will be part of this site as well.

That leads me to another point, making this whole thing a blessing. I have spoken mauch over the past 18 months of the many blessings that I have received, that others have received and even some things that I think I see the Lord receiving as blessings throughout this whole ordeal. I don't think that's enough. Observation, listening, praying are all good things but sometimes the Lord calls you to action and fear should not stop you from doing those things. As I have experienced in the lack of parenting skills that I possessed 18 months ago, God provided help for me to learn, to develop and to become what I hope is a great dad to a little girl that is the sunshine of my world. In the end, there is a large 'something' out there that He is calling me to do, to be that I need to start moving forward with or without clear direction, either way ignoring the fear. Thank you all for your interest, love, prayers and support, it most definitely has allowed me to accomplish all that has been written about here as well as the countless successes shared individually with all of you outside this cyber connection.
Stay tuned for further developments and changes - I look forward to sharing those with you all in the future as well!

Picking Up Steam

2008-09-11T14:29:00.007-06:00

September had a great start to the month! I had a surprise crew of 6 that got focused and knocked out a lot of work. The crew included Russ V, Ron V, Shana D, Lola K, and Steve N. The weather we perfect that day and the crew took full advantage of it.

Starting off were Russ and Steve carrying all of the tile for the master bathroom floor, shower pan and laundry room up two flights of stairs and placing it in the master crapper until the rooms are fully prepped for tile (and I get a stinking quote from a tile layer). Then they started hanging sheet rock in the master bathroom ceiling and actually got it almost completely hung!
Russ Messes with the plastic/Steve needs a break

Russ & Steve prep the ceiling/Then start cutting drywall

Ron jumps in to help/The finished product looks pretty good

Kind of a tough spot for 3 guys to all fit, but they managed

Ron tore into the master bathroom window and removed it completely taking great care not to puncture the shower pan liner that's been in place for almost nine months. After tearing it completely out, he put in a temporary 'window' (a piece of plywood and caulk) until I can get a block layer to put in the glass blocks for that window. Moving on, Ron started CUTTING drywall in the laundry room to locate a place that we could install the dryer vent that I so mindlessly forgot to put in before all the walls went up 6 months ago. With the floors ready to have tile installed, I thought the time had come to make that a priority and hopefully soon having a working laundry room. He got the hole made and even located a clear path for the vent to exit the room and out the roof (through the 3rd floor crawl space) but didn't quite get to installation.
Buddy admires the view out Ron's handy work

Then Ron cuts bigger holes eleswhere

Lola and Shana spent the day clearing out the fitness room (again) of all the doors other materials (i.e. paintings, counter tops, etc.) and hung plastic from the ceiling so that I could get a painter in to spray all of the doors (and some still-missing trim boards). They went through and organized the doors by floor and located how much paint I have of each kind remaining so that I could order more if needed. It was just up to me to get the painter lined up. To this time, the painter still hasn't followed through on showing up, so I'm currently looking for his replacement;-)
The girls were camera shy

As for me, I worked on the plumbing in Ellie's bathroom and actually got running water in there once again! What an exciting day I tell you. I think in only 3 more weeks I'll be able to take a shower in my own home - yehaa! I also installed another can light in the master bathroom because you can never have too much light!
Getting down into it/The handy work of someone else

My handiwork/Roger - the REAL plumber

This week also brought a bit of sadness for Ellie. Her super cool bed and clubhouse had to be taken out. Through a lot of deliberation and checking of facts, the bed was deemed inappropriate for Ellie and it needed to go. She took the news well, but I guess it hurts me that this happened and we had such a huge build up for something that ended up being a huge pain in the butt. We now have to tear her room apart again, refinish the floors again, patch all the drywall again, paint again and take her out of her bed again. It's a disruption to her sense of normal or 'safe' that just eats at me a little. Mistakes happen, I just wish they'd stop happening to her. I guess I'll stop there and say that I think it's moving along and it was promised to be repaired and I'm sure that it will. I hope sooner rather than later so that Ellie can once again go up to her room and play with her books and dolls without having exposed wires and dusty floors. It'll all get taken care of I'm sure, it'll just take patience.

This was a great week and gives me great optimism for the month and the progress ahead. It was refreshing to get a good sized crew again and actually challenged me again to have enough work for people in multiple locations. I know the end is nearing and I praise the Lord for the many blessings he's given me during all of this.

Ellie's Bath Gets A Floor

2008-08-28T16:10:00.004-06:00

That's right a REAL floor!

Hey y'all, it's been a fast two weeks. My brother tied the knot over the weekend in Minneapolis, MN and it was a great time. I'd like to just say out loud that I called it first here! Needless to say that took most of the weekend and progress has been slow, but things are still moving along.

Over the past three weeks Meredith has had someone in the bathroom in the hallway laying in the floor, framing in the tub surround and the tile layer came in to lay necessary tiles so that I could install the plumbing for the tub. It's going smoothly and we're having to wait a few weeks for the tile to come in so that that next step can be taken, but hopefully it's supposed to be here in the next 2-3 days - yahoo!!! Man that means a shower IN MY HOUSE in about a month! I'm so excited I could pee.
Built-in spaces for 'girly junk'/The promise of a tub

And a new shower too

On the burner also was work by yours truly and Shana to discover and decide upon the tile and the layout for the master bathroom. I've ordered that and it's all in today! I'll pick it up probably on Saturday and start working on that room with volunteers this weekend. We'll need to take out the window, move the plumbing to match the NEW vanity, install drywall, move the plumbing to match the tub and install new Durarock for the floor and shower. we definitely have out work cut out for ourselves, but the bus is moving again and it feels great! Hopefully we have some volunteers over the next couple of weeks and we can knock out some of the SIX sheets of to-do-list items. Here's to getting it all done!

Bathrooms Get Pushed Along

2008-08-11T20:00:00.003-06:00

It seems that it's every two weeks that I can actually get 'measurable' progress anymore. For many reasons this summer has been a bit slow on progress. There's been two siblings getting married, bachelor parties, helping mom get HER house ready for sale and then just the usual summer hectic schedules that are tough to keep in line all by themselves. SO I try to push as much as possible when I can and just deal with the rest. Many evenings now are spent running around looking for details and now getting used to the new position at Meredith in a different division. AND more time spent with Ellie - but more on that later.

Two Saturdays ago Ron and Kirby showed for the morning to do some work and wouldn't you know it - I had some for them! Ron went to town on some 'smaller' projects that i'm sure when described he was thinking 'oh I'll bang this out in 1-2 hours tops.' Well as I've found out MANY times in this project - that grew to be around 4-5. He assembled a faux wall anchor for the basement bathroom pedastal sink to rest against so the plumbing will look and function better (I now need to tile that to match the floor). Then he installed a board for the data rack to go on and finally pre-drilled the bar puck lights in the back bar.
Ron measures twice and cuts once

Making a wood box is tough/Buddy supervises

Kirby meanwhile installed the remaining switch covers on the first floor that didn't need to be trimmed due to them being too close to the molding. Then moved up to the second floor and installed can light trims to as many lights as I had trim kits.
Some of the switches were stuck WAY back there

I meanwhile installed the toilet flange, the supply lines for the shower and tub and sink drain pipe for the 2nd floor hall bath in preparation for a contractor from Meredith to start on the framing and dry wall in that room! I also picked out some very nice pulls for the bar drawers and cabinet doors.
I have no idea why the pipe is so long

It was a great day weather-wise and we all got to work outside some. These kind of work days really get me along the road to really being able to use the house and finish rooms. I can't state just how important thes days are, without them I will be mired in the painfully meticulous details of this house and I'll never get to spend weekends with Ellie.

Speaking of spending time with Ellie, I have tried very hard over the past few months to really add more time with her and just 'deal' with the lack of progress on the house in favor of not missing so many important moments. To be clear, the important moments are every moment of every day. It's the skinning of the knees while climbing things she shouldn't and the squeals of laughter as her tummy gets tickled or the soft tune her voice sings as she happily plays with her dolls or draws another masterpiece that gets hung on the refrigerator.

She is a lot of the reason I pushed forward, her future, the ability to tell her of her mom in the years to come, the stories that hopefully OTHERS tell her over the years ahead - all of this because they helped me to create a home of love for Ellie. A home that started out as a dream of two people and in many ways has grown to be a dream of sorts for over 200 people. It's humbling to think of that great blessing and that love that has been shared over the past 18 months. Thank you all for helping me, for praying for us and for sharing yourselves with us. That has been an amazing thing to experience and has changed who I am and who I raise Ellie to be. The time I now share with Ellie is cherished and still not always as much as I want, but the end is nearing and you are all responsible for helping to make that happen. Thank you. I hope to see you at the house sometime soon, or the grocery store, or at church, or at work - where ever it is the smile I wear is because I now get to spend more time with my little girl and you helped me get here.

Making The Details Just Right

2008-07-22T12:41:00.009-06:00

The tools that I thought were put away for good - guess not.

Well the past two weeks have gone 'well' and we're starting to make progress again. A lot of painting and focusing on details has gotten the ball rolling again. The summer schedule will hopefully be kind once again and allow some major progress to be made in the next 2-3 weeks, but before we worry too much about the past, here's what's been going on the last two weeks.

Due to the a/c unit not having the proper drainage, then having to install a new drain line, then having to repair the ceiling on the first floor, I finally got back to painting the ceiling and eventually got to put the living room back to some sort of order again. It was almost a month of setback, but it got finished and we're looking forward. Amazingly, it looks just as nice the second time around ;-) While finishing the living room ceiling I also finished the sun room ceiling after Brittany had already painted the walls a fantastic 'burnt sand'. We brought back the furniture to that room as well and now the entire first floor is 'usable' once again.
I prime the ceiling/Then paint it its final coat

Then finish the sun room too

I say 'usable' because the light switches and outlets still don't have covers and the light fixtures are still not installed. Shana spent the day Saturday spacing the outlets out so they are flush with the drywall and then installing the covers. She the entire first floor! It seems like and easy thing, but it takes more effort than I originally thought that's for sure. She of course totally ruined her fingernail job with a smile and a 'ready-for-more' attitude. Yep there's still the switches to go;-)
Shana works in the entry way

The before and after shots - very nice!

Ron stopped back in for another round of mental toture in rebuilding and installing the soffet for the air line in Ellie's Bathroom. We had kept the last one when we demolished the old tile walls and such, and reused 1/2 of it for the new one. but like most things it required a bit more thinking to fir the new space and he was a one man crew that knocked it out in no time.
Ron de-constructs the original frame/Then hangs the new

I was busy in the first floor 1/2 bath redoing the P trap on the hand sink because allegedly it won't pass code it the drain line goes straight up THEN over to the sink... it has to always come out of the wall level and the drain must drop to meet it. Ugh all the details - especially when the supply lines get in the way because the header of the adjacent floor is in the way. Needless to say it took me longer than anticipated (4 hours) and more trips the the hardware store (4). It's done and a good thing came out of it - I re-adjusted the drain so that it doesn't plug up anymore when the water is turned on all the way! (Stick with me, I need the little victories.)
I dismantle the sink drain/Then cut a hole in the base

Rehook up the drain and all is well

Have you noticed any sort of pattern to any of this? Yeah, re-doing a lot of things has put a damper on the progress. well, I hope that most of that is behind me and we can actually move FORWARD. The switch covers are small but huge. I think I mentioned starting that 3 months ago - seriously things like this sometimes just seem like mountains and I'm walking up backwards with snow shoes on to get there. I think I might end here and leave some of the other points on interest for a later post and hopefully let the summer, time and a cold beer or two take care of some of the other mountains. Before I go though, if I could please ask for your renewed efforts in prayers and thoughts as this is really dragging on (still without a shower) and I need all the patience and strength I can get. If you also find a few hours free in your schedule, be it on a Saturday or some evening, drop me a line and I'll have food and drink awaitin'.

Til then, here's to the cold brew taking off some of summer's edge. Cheers.

The Beds Take Shape

2008-07-02T21:36:00.007-06:00

The Back Yard view - VERY NICE!

Well after a bit of a crazy start to the summer we're getting back to a bit of progress and back on track. I have huge thanks to a group of volunteers that gave up their Wednesday and really made a huge impact to the outside of the house and have kick started a re-emphasis on the exterior. Before I get too far though, I want to take a moment to apologize for a few misguided and ill-advised words I entered a few weeks ago.

For those of you that may know what I'm talking about, I apologize if I offended anyone in any way. I apologize that I let my emotions and frustrations of a very large and stressful situation spill onto what could be a very public forum. I try very hard to remain upbeat and focused on the positive portions of this project and all of the many blessings that I have received in doing this project. Unfortunately in one entry (which has since been edited to omit those words) I succumbed to frustration and disappointment on this blog. I apologize to the person I was most frustrated with and hope that we may be able to retain and continue the close friendship that we had started so many months ago. I realize in further discussions that any mention of Meredith related in any way to that blog entry could have been perceived in a negative fashion and although that was never said, it was absolutely never meant to be implied in any fashion. To be uber-clear, I am thankful and forever indebted to the many people at Meredith that have come forward over the past 18 months to help in the myriad of ways that have made this house possible and truly an amazing testament to how the Lord can do amazing things in times of great tragedy. To the Meredith Corporation both as an entity and as a group of people, thank you.

As for the group that helped out today, Kirby, Sal, Amy and Kirby's Friend (I'll get your name later!) thank you SO much. I could have never thought anyone could make such quick work of five cubic yards of mulch. It transformed many of the weed infested flower beds once again shine and a thing of beauty that frame the house and give it personality. It was amazing to come home tonight and walk the yard and actually see my plants again. That put a huge smile on my face - regardless of the fact that the mosquitoes were feasting on my flesh. As you may be able to tell in a few of the photos here, the yard is still coming in, but for it's first year after being planted from seed, it has really taken and hopefully will provide a lush carpet for many happy moments in the near future for Ellie and many of her friends.
The front flower beds

Flower beds look nice...now about the walkway...

The back Linden (Leslie's) tree got some too

That's it until I have the time to take photos of the interior of the first floor which has under gone MAJOR changes and should hopefully be live-in-ready in very short order - say 10 days (knowing that the 4th is inthe middle of that). To all, thank you once again for all that you have done for Ellie and I, every gesture large and small alike has made a world of difference.

A Needed Rest With Sun, Sand & GOLF!

2008-06-16T12:09:00.010-06:00

Acapulco was time to think, relax, & regroup

Well I've talked about it a lot, thought I'd show you what I was up to the last two weeks of May and into June. Some things were expected, others were amazing surprises, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll try to keep the words to a minimum and just let you look at the relaxation. On the outset, it was a very much needed two week stay and I started the month of June with my head full of to-do items and a reinvigorated sense of purpose.

Before I get too far ahead of myself I'd like to say a few words that can be touchy. Over tha past few months I'm sure you have noticed a certain woman appearing in a lot of the images and stories that have been on this blog. Shana has been a huge part of my life in the past few months. Everything from helping to clean the house for friends and family, to helping me work through still-very-real mourning discussion late at night, Shana has never shied away from the tough moments that I have in my life and will probably continue to have in the years to come. The important thing though is that she has helped to make a lot of those tough moments easier and in quite a few instances transformed bad moments into good ones. I just wanted to let the great friends and family that have supported me to this point know that I am dating someone that not only helps and supports me, but that truly is an amazing woman in her ability to be patient and give unconditional love, especially in circumstances that are undoubtedly difficult and sometimes under a microscope. Thank you Shana for coming into my life, I know the Lord has continued to bless me through your love for me and my daughter Ellie.

As a first in the past 18 months, I went on a 2 week sabbatical, the first on vacation, the second to L.A. for work. As I said it was a great break and I'm glad I could take a few moments away from the house and the stress. Here's a few highlights.
We spell relief C-O-R-O-N-A!

View of the Bay/It used to be very industrial port and gets skimmed daily

The resort pools/The kiddy lazy river area

View of the coastline from the balcony/Evening trade winds

The look I get/When I have a little fun

The walkway to the ocean was short/The coastline went on forever

Day trip on a VERY windy road to Taxco/Beautiful little city

It's called the 'Silver City'/The 200yr old Cathedral was beautiful

1 of 7 of the alters/Lunch was 'accompanied' by local muscians

Crazy taxi driver in a VW/STRAIGHT down

Then a few rounds of golf (like 3) - it was REAL nice!

Then was a week in L.A. We took the direct early a.m. flight thinking we'd hit an early round before the rest of the group came and the show got under way. Well we made it to the Santa Monica Pier and sat in the sun and had Bloody Marys and that about set the tone for the day/week. Not a lot of golf, but definitely a great work trip that was successful and fun with the team. Then after a great meeting of the authors that Meredith publishes books for, I was afforded a chance of a lifetime - play the Riviera Golf Club in C.A. - that's right THE Riviera that is a usual stop for the PGA and host to 3 different US OPens.! Hot Damn it was a great trip. All in all a great break from the load at home. Take a look for yourself.
Santa Monica Pier/Totally great - sunny and 70 baby

The RIV golf shop/1st tee view - amazing 70' drop (Par 5)

Me at the 6th Tee/18th Fairway with clubhouse behind

It's Starting to LOOK Like a Home

2008-05-27T13:05:00.007-06:00

Well the past two weeks have gone by quickly in some respects and not in others.
In either case, much has been accomplished and the first floor of the house is starting to actually resemble a place that is actually inhabitable. But I will definitely not take credit for the mojority of the work, that has been the blessing of friends and family.

The first floor has it's final colors chosen (this was more of a hurdle than anticipated because in the paint chip-form colors look great, when you put them on a wall next to colors of wood and different lighting, it can go sideways) and in a lot of cases is actually on the walls and ceilings. A majority of the painting was done by Brittany last week when I was taking in a bit of sunshine and frosty Coronas by the pool. Brit has also agreed to finish the sun room this week while I'm away on business in L.A. It really was amazing walking back into the house and the places I left half 'cut-in' before vacation, to find them completed and perfectly completed really was a fantastic finish to a much needed vacation.

I took Memorial Day then to play a little catch up before I leave for L.A. Shana and her boys, Jake and Sam, as well as Ellie also chipped in and we really had a great time chipping away at some of the smaller things that have been hanging on the todo list for a while.
The living room with clean floors and no furinture

Views from the entry into the living room

Jake carefully cuts the two carpet anti-skid pads

One of two completed pads/The kids prepare to 'roll out the carpet'

Testing out the carpet/Having fun on the new floor

Setting in furniture near the window

Near the fireplace/Jake takes a well deserved break

Shana & I discuss window treatments/Shana & Jake enjoy the sun

Everyone horses around on the new carpet

I start to trim the dining room bottom walls

It's slow going - but the color will look great!

We took a great step forward to making the first floor more live-able over the weekend and it gets me excited that other rooms can't be too far behind. I need to think about window coverings now or my furniture will fade in no time because of all the sun, but that is already swishing around in my head. We need to finish painting the base of the dining room which is no small task because of having to cut two times all of the woodwork - once a grey primer and once the actual red color. It's a test to see just how bold I like the dining room to be and what kind of statement it will make, but I think it can be pulled off to be just that - 'bold but not obnoxious'.

With more painting being done by Brittany over the next week, I should be able to come back from L.A. and set more furniture and actually start to use the rooms. That is only after I mow the yard which is growing like CRAZY with all of the rain we have gotten in the last two weeks. When I left a week ago for vacation the yard was at that 'a bit too early to run a mower on without leaving tracks' to now being overgrown. It's to the point that it's so long that it will take an extra day to dry out - when ever it does stop raining - before I can bring a mower on to it. That of course after I BUY a mower. I waited after last fall/winter to not buy a new mower thinking I could easily find a good used one this spring. Well I'm a bit behind there and I have only found 1-2 decent options and am now in desperate need of one. Not a really great position to be in as a buyer who wants a deal.

Things are trucking along and I'm really starting to get anxious to get back to the task list and knock off a few more rooms. I will be starting to send out the usual email list again when I get back as I think I'm putting the to do list together again after a little break - and that's really fantastic to think about.

The Wait Continues - For a Reason?

2008-05-12T12:12:00.002-06:00

This past weekend was a good one again. I only had two volunteers, Shana D. and on V. Even though we were a force of only three, we got quite a bit accomplished. I picked out some new door handles for the first floor - so they will all be functional now which I'm looking forward to. Then picked up more paint readying for the crew.

Ron started on the ceiling in the dining room and Shana set to work on the entryway ceiling. We got through the ceilings and even moved onto the first coat (of the third color choice) of new color for the entryway walls that will start in the back entry and continue up to the second floor landing. The new color really works much better than the previous two with the wood work and pulls more yellow out of the wood than mostly the red that is usually pulled out by the paint color selections.

Meanwhile, I was working in the 2nd story hall bathroom, installing the plumbing. I ran out of material twice and will hopefully finish Monday evening. I then will need to lay the 3/4" subfloor and then it's back into Meredith's court to take it from there. I hope it won't take more than 3-4 hours, but as everything else has proven, I'm sure it will take longer. No problem, I'll just keep pushing.

That brings up what I really wanted to discuss, the timelime, the lack thereof and maybe some iseda on possible reasons for that. I talk with my pastor every Friday morning and proceed to get amped up on medium Skim Mochas for the day and discuss what's new that week. That weekly time together has proven to be truly critical for me in my healing. Often times he is able to position things in my mind that I cannot seem to conclude on my own. Folks often ask me all of this will be completed and I often tell them that I have 'this day' as deadline or 'that day' as a deadline, but in the end really have no solid clue. There are days that I'd LIKE to set as a completion date, but too much is out of my hands for me to be able to say those things.

Which leads me to a discussion I had with my pastor a few weeks ago that I have been kicking around in my head a bit. Maybe the Lord is using this project in a way that is beyond the 'no crap moron' response that is running through your head right now. Looking at the entire project, this is taking WAY longer than I ever thought. Even with all of the help, volunteers, donations, advice, etc. this seems to be stalling a bit since the first of the year. That got me thinking, maybe the Lord wants me to slow down.

I have spent so many of my years running at full tilt chasing this and that. Ask any of my good friends and they'll tell you that at any time in my life, it has always been 'a challenge' to get a hold of me, let alone plan something. My natural response I think would have been to push through whatever grieving I may have thought appropriate at the time and then get back to chasing all of the other trappings of life. I think the Lord has reasons that: 1. that Leslie and I found this house only 3 weeks before her crash 2. that Matt Strelecki wrote that wonderful email and SO many people at Meredith got behind this project, including so many friends and family and people in church and in circles that I wasn't even a part of 3. that when I was nearing completion of the demo and rebuild stages that someone from Meredith stepped in to take on so much of the decorating and final touches 4. that there are now more challenges facing the final touches and I'm being tested in new ways of how to finish this while continuing to not step on toes, be appreciative and still get what fits my house and our dream.

Yes those are 4 large areas and I don't plan on hitting all of those here, but I think they all have a common thread. While I have said many time other people have been touched or changed by this, I most certainly have as well. I can feel the Lord putting His hand on my shoulder that keeps me seated on the chair as He gives me a lesson as a Dad would to a busybody son. Softly and calmly I can hear Him say things every now and again. they are not profound nor overly complex. Sometimes it's a simple 'be still John' or 'just wait John' or 'find the priority John and follow only that'. Many times these moment happen when I'm frustrated the most, when I can no longer take the stress. In all instances I hear him saying, "simplify". It's one of those moments in life where the less said means the most. I know what he mans by 'Choose the path of your heart'. I think we all know what means - differently to everyone- but deep in our hearts we cannot lie to ourselves and we cannot lie to the Lord. We know ourselves and He know us even more intimately than that. Follow your heart to me says that He has taught me things throughout my short life, take those things and follow his word. He uses everyday life events to give us illustrations of how His word is true. It's our job to take those illustrations and share them with others. That's how he connects with every generation and every people - life experiences.

My house project definitely qualifies as a life experience. What then are some of my illustrations to share? Love with all of your heart - all of the time. Don't apologize for loving someone too much because you can't. Family is the closest thing we have on earth to God's kingdom. "Family" can be defined in a lot of ways, but in all ways the family is love without limitation or judgment, support without hesitation and community without exception. It's also where we recieve a small glimpse of how special we are to him when we have children of our own. What an amazing thing we must be to him because I realize how amazing my little girl is to me. There are so many 'illustrations' that I have seen - some I'd like to keep to myself... and will share when appropriate.

While I most assuredly would like this to end TODAY and many around me would like it to end soon, I think the Lord is doing many things with this project for his kingdom, not just my life, that for now I just 'be still and wait'. I know he is here and he is not done yet.

The Old Man Takes a Break

2008-05-06T10:52:00.013-06:00

Yep, Buddy was getting tired and needed a rest.

Seriously though, I apologize for the back-to-back long disappearances. There have been quite a few personal obligations as well as relatively large snags in the overall project process that has consumed quite a bit of my time lately. Let's start with the good news though and maybe move on to some of the other junk at a later time.

As of this morning I now have carpet in the basement and the 3rd floor large room, I have TWO - count them - TWO working toilets (no sinks to go with them though), I have tile in the 2 1/2 baths, I have some more yard work done, I have rugs on order for the first floor and I have chosen the final color for the dining room and entryway (I hope). It's really been a busy couple of weeks and sometimes being mired in the details I lose sight of that.

I also have a VERY large headboard sitting in my master bedroom and we'll start there today. This headboard was built off-site for the story of the master suite. The person in charge of the project never thought it important to measure the stairs (or the window) openings in my house. Nor did the recommendation by several cabinet makers resonate to build the unit in smaller pieces and complete the final assembly in the room. Consequently we were left with a headboard that is 8" too tall and about 12" too wide to go up the stairs and roughly 1/4" too tall to go through ANY of the windows in the house. Two lift rentals later and roughly 18 man hours later, the solution was to grind the window frame down to allow for the needed size - this only after one of the window frames being busted by a large hammer and block of wood.
The SECOND lift/Lifting carpet

Carpet in the 3rd floor/Then the headboard...

Coming in Ellie's window/Carpet being yanked in the 3rd floor

Everyone wonders how it's coming in/I go and get it

Jeni helps it into place/I climb off the forks (in the rain)

We are now making great strides in the basement and the entire first floor. It's awesome to see colors other than white on my walls - even if we don't quite hit the right color out of the box. In the basement we have the carpet laid and the tile in the 1/2 bath completely installed now. There is a toilet but unfortunately no door installed as of yet ;-) We have painted the walls in all the rooms except the fitness room and the bar top has been manufactured. I am still trying to get to creating the template for the back-of-the-bar counter top and need that before installing the bar top, but that isn't too far off. I was really hung up with the flooring and plumbing of the two 1/2 baths.
Trying to get the form JUST right/bar top's gotta be right

Basement carpet looks great/So does the paint job

I install the basement tile in the 1/2 bath

VERY slowly it all gets installed

Meanwhile though, Grandpa Case, Grandma Helen, Shana, Brittany, Caryn and a few others concentrated on painting the first floor dining room, entryway and living room as well as cleaning the dining room buffet. I have to be honest, I never fully appreciated that buffet until Grandma put a lot of elbow grease behind cleaning the hardware and glass doors and Grandpa finished the varnishing. That is truly a highlight of the entire first floor. I can't wait to finish the lighting in the top of that to make it really 'pop' as Shana likes to say.
The buffet after Grandma's great work/Down to the details

It's a great piece of furniture/Hook on the front door mirror

In between all of this Ellie had her 3rd birthday and had a surprise visit from Shrek. After nearly peeing herself out of fear (and I took off the mask) she settled down and we had a great day of cake, presents and green punch! She is growing SO quickly that I am REALLY trying to push through these last stages so I can start to l-i-v-e with my little girl. More and more she 'helps' me on the projects. Just last night we went to the hardware store for a shutoff valve pressure fitting for the basement 1/2 bath and I showed her what we were looking for. As I was perusing the isle I heard 'Just wike wis one Daddy?'. I'll be darned if she didn't find the exact same thing I had/needed. She's so amazing and I praise the Lord everyday for her. So, being three has already proven to have it's 'moment's - it has already shown there will be many great moments.
The decorations were everywhere/So were the gifts

Her artwork from school was on display

Here comes Shrek/To Ellie's horror!

She doesn't like a real-life Shrek/Even when begging

And selling it.../and more selling...

Even without the hood.../still not so sure

Moving on the the cake/LOTS of candles for three years

And lots of blowing/Of course lots of frosting

The kitchen has been a huge blessing in that we are having more meals together and thankfully I'm no longer stuffing the pockets of local food chain owners;-) Hopefully that means we're eating healthier as well. With gas prices sky rocketing lately I also bought a trailer for my bike so that Ellie and I can bike to school/work everyday this summer/fall. Since I have no showers yet, this works really well in speeding up the morning routine as well. Hopefully I can shave a few sizes off my backside and Ellie can have a great time going to school in a very unique way! Things are starting to have more of a rhythm, but we have a ways to go and unfortunately this project is dragging out a bit. I have a few thoughts on that and maybe I'll save those for the next entry and stop the never ending keystrokes for a while.

We Move To... The Garage

2008-04-18T14:58:00.009-06:00

At least the kitchen is usable now - more to come!

Where to start? How about, sorry that it's been so stinking long?! Sorry. Now, the biggest thing was the move in that I left everyone hanging on the edge of their seats with. It was a glorious Saturday morning with the soft fluffy clouds that come after a bit of rain and bring sunnier days. It was a cool 45-50 degrees and almost no wind. It was perfect weather for moving heavy boxes and breakable china.

Needless to say I was a bit nervous about the truck being on time due to a freak snow storm, the clouds erupting with 17" of rain or even a king-size pot hole on the interstate that blows out the trailer axle. Many prayers later and a few powdered doughnuts surrendered to my belly, the truck showed up - 10 minutes early. Man I just gotta trust God and relax some. This driver was friendly, courteous and most importantly on time. The day was going to be perfect and I thought I had plenty of space for everything. In short, for once I was right on both accounts - again this trusting God thing is really something I can really get used to.

We had a great crew for the day, to list them would be long, but I'm going to anyway - they earned their stripes! My sister Mary, Bro Sean, His fiance Sarah, Uncle Tim, Caryn, Russ, Grandpa Case, Grandma Helen, Shana D., Lola K., Kirby V., Ron V., Mark S., Sam and Jake D. (Shana's boys), Sal V., Ellie, and last but definitely not least Dan J. That my friends is a good crew - and they got a ton done, not just moving stuff either.
WHOOHOO The Truck's here!/Everyone anxiously awaits...

Yeah it was full/Tim & Kirby use great care

I carry a huge headboard/Ron directs traffic on the ground

Lola thinks this is play time/The men discuss strategies of unloading

Kirby works to fill the garage/Sarah gets the heavy stuff

Mark carries a chair/So does Ron

Mary walks the cardboard runway/Sarah watches her step

Mary works while Tim..?/Oh how the garage fills quickly

Dan J is a one mane moving machine/An takes great care too

Tim & Sean unload the last few/Dan verifies the emptiness

Grandpa was so keen on lifting heavy breakables, so he starting painting the basement bar/extra living areas, now that the trim has been painted. While Gpa was sucking fumes, Grandma, Shana and Caryn were all cleaning windows, cleaning floors, and getting the house interior ready for actual living. Although nothing new came into the house during this move except a bed (I FINALLY get to sleep above the floor!) it was cleaned top to bottom by days end by these ladies and a few others as the moving ended later on.
Grandpa works his magic in the basement/Around the bar...

Up the stairs.../Grandma does her work in the kitchen

MANY Hands made the kitchen ready

We had a group of guys also retrieve the counter tops and TV and other furniture from the storage facility in DSM. All tolled, I will now be 'saving' about $250/mo. just on not having to pay storage fees! That is a good feeling. Don't worry though in later entries I'll tell you what has been taking that void. Back to the move in though...

Lunch was fantastic array of chicken salad sandwiches, mixed fruit, chips, pop and a great cake my mom brought with a VERY appropriate message. amazingly we had completed the removal of all of the items from the semi before lunch and the guys showed up soon after lunch with the first load from the storage units. I guess there was more in there than I had remembered putting in there. I suppose you can't relate to that in your own house. ;-) With the extras coming in from the storage unit, we had time to do smaller misc jobs like start to set up my bed, move the tub into the bathroom and set up the washer and dryer. Oh wait on that washer/dryer thing... we forgot to install a dryer vent before the drywall went up. Shit.
Full tummies were had by all

The girls put together the bed/Ellie inspects the work

Three ladies that have done SO much to help/Mom shows off the cake

The tub is moved into the master bathroom

You have no idea how badly I have wanted to do my own laundry. That is saying more than you realize. You know how everyone has their ONE thing that they absolutely hate to do around the house? For some doing the dishes is the worst chore, others it's cleaning the bathroom, for my it's doing laundry - BY FAR. To say that I look forward to doing my own is nuts and that's because I hate that others are being burdened with my stinky, filthy work clothes. That's nothing to say that 'the exchange' of the baskets is ever comfortable. I feel like I'm smuggling socks and slacks in the resturaunt at times. I look forward to having my life contained in one place, and for right now it's still not. We're getting closer no doubt, but there are things that just seem to continue to hang out there.

All in all it was a great day and I got one step closer to having my life back together in one place. I still don't have things IN the house, but at least they're all at the same address now and I can at least LOOK at my couches and kitchen utensils (oh which by the way were also brought into the house by Caryn, Shana and crew. They COMPLETELY set up the kitchen with my stuff so I can honestly use the kitchen like it's supposed to be used!! I almost forgot one of the biggest things - man am I glad that I can ramble on forever then I can remember more good stuff! Too bad for you though I've probably already said too much and I'm losing you. So I'll shut up for this installment and let you look at the rest of the day and enjoy.
Sal cleans with Ellie's help/LOTS of help

Ellie loves to help 'pray, pray'/Ron uses a straight blade

Russ gets a hand from Sam/The beautiful entrance into the living room

Russ readies the 3 season porch for the move/

Again, thank you all for making this happen. The first move to Pella, the destruction of every wall in my house, the slow rebuilding of the guts within the walls, the rebirth of my yard, the rebuilding of the walls and ceilings, the painting, the staining and varnishing, and now moving back to Des Moines. It's been amazing and hopefully nearing an end. You all have been with me the whole way and I can't even imagine what it'd be like without you. Lonely I guess, praise the Lord though, you never left. Thank you.

Saturday Crew Is Early

2008-03-24T12:35:00.008-06:00

Everyone was Movin' & Shakin' Wednesday Night

This week the crew showed up and I mean REALLY EARLY - like Wednesday night! That's right, I had a crew of six people show Wednesday evening ready to do whatever I needed. It was a great bunch from Two Rivers Marketing - the agency that both Leslie and I worked for. Making a star appearance were John K., Jill V., Jill L., Ryan J., Karen S., and Julie S. - yes there were a lot of 'J's that night.

I am making preparations for bringing up the semi full of my old house NEXT SATURDAY and I needed to create some space for all of the stuff. In walk the crew from 2RM and BAM!! we're clearing away junk and organizing other junk that needs to stay! They kind of looked at me like - '18 months of tearing and repairing and we're moving boxes and sweeping your porch'? Yep, needs to be done so that the big day of moving can happen.

Well three hours later the 3-season porch and garage were cleared and organized, all of the hardware for the 2nd floor doors were taken off and placed in baggies and a good portion of the paint was stripped off of the top of the bar (that was mistakenly painted by the painters - MAJOR OOPS). We won't go into how many four letters words I uttered, well it was really only one word multiple times.
Ryan J uses VERY toxic stripper/John and Jill work and Julie is...?

John moves a heavy door/Jill V removes a hinge

As the group was departing for their homes and warm beds that no doubt provided a little rest for their very sore backs, we discussed how a 'small' group of six could get so much done. Simply put that was 18 hours that it would have taken to do that work - not to mention the additional time just due to the fact that when working alone it always takes longer because of the efficiency of two sets of hands working on the same project. In one night a lot was accomplished that will allow for this up coming weekend to really be possible.
Jill L works on the door handle/John & Julie work together

Julie isn't so sure he's doing it correctly/The group (minus Karen)

Another first was reached this past weekend on Saturday. It was the first weekend that we didn't take off, but I worked alone on the house. Not really abig deal at all, just an interesting fact to consider. For more than 62 weeks I have had at least one other person helping me on my house and in most cases many people. In some cases it was nice to work quietly by myself, but reality sunk in and I realized how much I didn't get done with such a 'big' weekend on the horizon and it was a bit disheartening. Oh well, there is next weekend, it will come whether I'm ready or not and that's good from any perspective. I might even have a couch to sit on in a week or so. No more 5-gallon bucket seats or plastic lawn furniture. Although I might just keep some of that in the house so I don't have to clean as much until more of the painting and final touches are put on each room. we'll have to wait and see.

Regardless I hung a sheet of drywall in the landing of the 2nd floor, moved a couple of switch boxes that were sticking too far out from the drywall, cut a few holes for plumbing and got to hang with Buddy during Coke breaks. All in all it was a good day. Just me and my trusted dog who has been through the deepest valleys of life with me. Sometimes the quiet progress made along side an old trusted friend ain't so bad.

The Big Unveiling: Part II

2008-03-24T11:02:00.005-06:00

The BIG SURPRISE!

Last week Tuesday (the 11th) a gift finally found its home in Ellie's room that had been waiting to be delivered for over a year. Shortly after the New Year of '07 I received a call from some of the folks at Meredith Corporation from the Parents Branding team. They had heard of my story through a few different channels and really felt compelled to help out in any way they could, but they didn't know how right away. The right opportunity presented itself and they gave me a call right away.

It turned out that they had just finished taking pictures of one of their newest products and didn't have anywhere to store it and would usually have put it up for internal sale for the employees. Considering my situation and that Ellie didn't have anything yet, they wanted to donate to Ellie when her room was ready. I thought that was a great gesture, one that caught me off guard and I about lost it. It's those 'girly' moments that Ellie will have that I usually feel the hurt the deepest. Those are the moments that 'Mom' is supposed to share with their daughters. Sure dad can have them too, but they were the moments that Leslie absolutely lived for and so looked forward to sharing with Gabrielle. Here were folks that saw a void in a part of life that I wouldn't necessarily know what or how to give my little girl and gave me that. They gave me more than just a toy, they gave me the thoughtful package that covered it all - all the pieces, all the correct designs that girls like things I don't know about - and all I needed to do was show up with my little angel and be willing to play. Amazing. So many people have worked so hard so that I can one day just show up and play - I still don't know how to take that gift sometimes without getting all mushy.

Back to the story. The woman from Meredith named Sondra told me that she understood that I was still looking at bare studs (I don't think she fully understood just HOW MANY I was looking at though) and the when I had Ellie's room ready she would love to deliver the gift in person. I thought that was amazing and absolutely agreed that it should be a special time away from even the 'reveal' of the room to Ellie. every couple of months Sondra would write and ask how things were progressing and if the room was ready or not. Ever patient, she would always respond to my 'not yet' with the usual, well it's still waiting for you whenever it works best.

Well last week I gave the much anticipated shout to Sondra that the room was ready, Ellie had already seen her room (and loved it as you know) and it was time for another surprise for Ellie. She was completely excited, but her schedule was crazy busy and might be a challenge to get the whole team there. I told her whatever she wanted to do for scheduling was great by me since she had waited so patiently for me. We set the date for the 11th at 4:00. I was to pick up Ellie from Daycare and head over.

Ellie and I headed over last Tuesday to see what new 'prise? Daddy' was waiting. We arrived and saw that Toye and Barry were there and had set everything up, but Sondra was not able to attend because of business. We ran upstairs and went into the room to see a huge shape covered with a blanket. Getting behind it, we pulled back the cover to reveal a HUGE doll house that had everything from a sink and bath tub to stairs and even patio furniture! Man, this house has more in it than my real house. Ellie squealed with excitement and couldn't stop asking ' play Daddy, Play with me?!' Needless to say it was a huge hit.
The unveiling begins.../Ready? Set..

Oooh IT'S A DOLL HOUSE/Look at all the cool pieces!

The gift in perfect presentation/Thank you Meredith Parents Branding

Ellie and I have spent quite a bit of time in her new room playing with all of her new toys. Thank you all for you generosity. I honestly can't say thank you enough. My little girl has never stopped smiling throughout this whole ordeal and a lot of it is because you all never stopped sharing your smiles with us.